I think many of your thoughts are common to us breast cancer survivors from time to time. It is when it takes over our everyday thoughts that it can interfer with living our best lives. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and getting the assistance you need at this time. Despite my name 'Keeping positive" I am not always positive and every year around mammogram/ultrasound time I get very anxious and wonder, like you, should I have had a bi lateral mastectomy.
It is nearly six years on for me from diagnosis, and I was Stage 3, Grade 3, HER2 positive and ER/PR positive and in 2 lymph nodes and both breasts. Breast cancer is now a part of my medical history and I choose to believe that the treatment worked and I am NED now. For me going through treatment I was so, so tired I could barely even have any negative thoughts at the time, I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. However after active treatment was when I reflected on what I went through and sort out a counsellor to speak with.
You will get through this negative time and negative thoughts, so be kind to yourself and do something nice for yourself each day. Let others spoil you also, because you deserve it! Take care and I wish you the best and we are here for you. xx
