Hi @Molly71, you definitely are not alone here. It is a bit scary. I had a lumpectomy, months of chemo and radium and now Letrozole. I could have had a mastectomy but my surgeon was confident with recommending a lumpectomy. I was grade 3 as well. I am 2 years and 8 months post diagnosis.
I think as time goes on it is easier to not worry about the future. We really don't control it. What we can control is how we react and this does take work.
You are still having treatment so don't be too hard on yourself. Depression is common for people having cancer treatment but it is good you recognise the struggle and are seeking help with medication and therapy.
There are lots of things you can do to help with the anxiety. Keeping busy doing things you like to focus on that joy instead of the cancer risk. You can do deep breathing and lots of it, go for a walk if you are up to it. Maybe start a new hobby.
Start a gratitude practice every day. It changed my life doing this. It is such a simple thing to do. You could use an app like Delightful or write down 3 things you are grateful for every day. Could be as simple as being gratitude for your husband or your morning coffee.
We all have moments of doubt. I think it is normal but as you know if they take over we feel depressed and anxious and this isn't helpful. Start changing that self doubt about whether treatment worked to saying that it has worked and you have no evidence of disease. Keep saying it too. You have had so much treatment that the cancer is gone.
I am glad you reached out. You are very brave and you are nearly there. It is going to be ok. Talk to your oncologist and psychologist in the new year. It's a reflective time so be gentle with yourself and keep going. Treatment is so great these days and your team are making sure you will be ok. Best wishes for 2023.
