Gimme a break!
Day 12 - after double mastectomy.
Had a restless night... Everything hurt....
The nerve endings are waking up quickly now.... Having phantom pains again too.. All day left breast phantom pain... It felt like my breast was still there, nipple and all, but if course it isn't... Really really bizarre feeling..and that stitched in underwire is being drawn tighter and tighter....
The drain sites pinch and bite at me all day and night... Had another blow out with one too.... Lucky the tube was blocked or I would have had a mess... Over them!! Hopefully they come out tomorrow!
Had appointment with my Oncologist today... It was stifling hot in the cancer centre today... So much so a poor patient passed out in the hall, hubby and a few others jumped up to catch him before he hit the ground...Excitement over it was my turn to see the Dr....
The usual questions and conversation ensued & just as I thought I would get a break before radiotherapy..... I am to start my hormone therapy as soon as the drains are removed! That means possibly tomorrow! ?? I thought I had at least until next year for that! ??
Seriously? ... I feel like I've been thrashing around in the ocean trying to get to shore.... I think I'm getting closer but then the next wave crashes down...
Oh for Gods sake! I said .... Oh well Bring it on then ?? the possible side effects were explained and with scripts in hand for Tamoxifen and pain killers, I was on my way.. I don't have to see her again until September....
The general consensus amongst my team is to smash this quickly! Ok that's great, but geez.... A nice recovery nap on the beach followed by a cocktail would be nice please!
I don't want to sound ungrateful.... I am lucky things have moved so quickly, others have to wait a long time for treatments and such.... But I am getting battle weary now....
This soldier needs some R&R... No pain... No aches... No meds... No thinking..
'Tell her she's dreamin' I hear a distant sniggering voice say....
Dreaming for now.... Soon this will all be behind me and I will be on that beach sipping a cocktail for real! .....
What a day...
