Flustered? Who me?

Ditto! Ditto! Ditto!  I agree! I think the fewer mirrors the better! I love this 'book idea' - I think it should be a compilations of your thoughts - I would be happy to put it together and if you msg me I can give you my email.  Already we have had an idea from Chrissy D 'Remarks to the Remarkable' - this is quite good, has anyone any other suggestions, we could have a vote - this could be a 'fun' thing, and you all know we need some of that 'fun' stuff in our lives, we get enough of the other dont we.  Am trying to think of something funny to say today but I think I am heading for the 'blues' - darn! I hate that, it hit me last night, and came from nowhere - I was feeling cheesed off because of my 'so called' plans that have been 'put on hold' and I am trying to give up that awful habit (here we go, yes the social lepor) of smoking - so I thought if I 'bum puffed' (trying not to 'drawback' the smoke)  it might lower the urge for a cigarette - however, all it has done is make me cranky and irritable (I hate me when I am like that!) so last night I just had a cigarette and thought blast it, I don't want to get fat.....I don't want to smoke, chocolate is not good for me, if I have a drink I will want more smokes, GEEE! life can be such a bitch! Someone told me to 'get the patches' but that is someone who does not know the luxury of holding that little coffin nail in your hand and the gentle feeling of relaxation that follows - does everyone hate me now?  Apart from being critisised for my treatments (yes, relatives are all experts - you know the definition of an expert? I will tell you - an 'ex' is a hasbeen and a 'spert' is a drip under pressure!) I digress, any way I get critisised for my treatments, hasseled for smoking, remonstrated because I have a penchant for 'snowballs' (Gosh I love them, all that mushy marshmellow and coconut chocolate, mmmm, mmm!) and I will get fatter - WHERE IS THE QUALITY OF LIFE I ASK? I took up the snowballs and lollies in place of smoking - now I am an addicted chocoholic who still smokes - Oh me of little resistance, shame on me - I can see it all now ladies, me sneaking off into a dark corner somewhere, cigarette tucked under my sleeve and snowball shoved down my front (I can do that now, there is room on one side!) Who's going to notice! A closet snowball munching smoker - people will hate me, its a wonder I haven't been dragged into the city square and put in the stocks so the maudling crowd can pelt me with rotten vegetables, I am so wicked and naughty!  I know whats bad for me, I am very aware of that - why are the 'bad' things so darn enjoyable!  Recently someone offered me some kind of hippie-organic-antioxitant stuff, I turned it down because I knew it would taste like crap.  It occured to me last night when I go to see (yet another specialist) he (or she) is going to rip shreds off me for being a smoker (I have been classified as a 'light smoker) - but that won't matter, I will get a real dressing down and they will (as usual) go for the jugular.  I have steeled myself to my for a classic retort, it should go something like this "Do you keep a gun in your desk drawer, because if you do, save us all some grief and shoot me now - get it over with, I am a bad, bad naughty wicked silly little girl, go on just do it!". Sigh! Someone tell me a joke - oh hang on, I am living in one!  Oh well tell me a joke any way, I am sure someone has a funny tucked up their sleeve.  All I can think of is a horse walked into a bar and the barman said "Why the long face......."  I am sure someone can improve on that! x x x x x x x