Kath's right turning up and having it is what it's about - I was very focussed going thru treatment .What I found toughest was when the frantic flurry of treatment ended and the future opened up then I needed to reach out but to those that got it. I know most non bc people are well meaning and guess they don't know what to say and mostly we're too polite to say how we really feel or what we think about banalities but that's life and I've been guilty on both sides of the fence.Be gentle on yourself and others but remember always open here for a rant.X