Tessy, I so understand, I felt like I was kicked so hard in the guts, and honestly was a mess at my recurrence. I couldnt fathom how on earth, I was so incredibly angry and sad and upset! I wondered how on earth was I going to face this again. You know how?? baby steps and with some love and support. I honestly cant stand the thought of this again so thats why Im doing the Mastectomy, but if I honestly felt I had a choice I wouldnt choose it. Like so many other ladies been dealt their hands, its downright cruel!!! so many don't even get a choice which is just so so hard! In my mind I think Ive prepared as much as mentally possible for how Im going to look with a Diep flap recon, there are some great photo stories in Breast Reconstruction Group, then I think about the lack of feeling I will have. The hardest part is coming to terms with acceptance of whatever our next step is. I think its still a shock and you need time to process it all. Don't be hard on yourself, you will make the absolute right decisions at the right time for you. Sending a big hug!!! You will get through it, I promise you that!! Hugs Melinda xo
