Forum Discussion
Final Countdown 3 days to go for Mastectomy and Diep Flap reconstruction....YIKES!!!!!!
Hello My Fellow Courageous Beautiful Friends!!!! Well a few weeks ago I wasn't traveling very well, as we know too well that emotional roller coaster! I have since had an appointment with a Psychologist I saw 3 yrs ago and it was invaluable. It helped incredibly to try and put it all into perspective. She pointed out that our logical thinking comes from the frontal lobe but unfortunately my emotional body hasnt caught up to the logic of whats happening eventhough I know it has to happen because it makes sense. The other thing she pointed out is the attachment I have to my physicality and all my bits and pieces, of course am human this is what we are...but this is not the essence of who I am..I am so much more than that and the irony is when people see me they dont see my physicality they see the depths of the person I am. Somehow separating myself a little in that way has helped with letting go. The other thing was she said I was grieving, grieving the loss of my breast, grieving the struggle the past 6 years all very valid and is important. I feel I turned a corner. I finished work yesterday and the reality hit as I drove home in tears even at my age wishing my MUM was here to wipe them away...OH DEAR LOL So honestly?? I am incredibly nervous!!! and yeah scared of the whole thing, the pain of it, recovery...the end result...but am calm and trying to do one day at a time...just get to Monday and get to surgery thats all!!!! PHEW!!!
136 Replies
- Mel, you have us here, we got your back and holding your hand in this new stage, yes there is a lot of emotional stuff that takes time for us to process and deal with you are doing wonderfully and I am so very honoured to have met you on this forum... My energy is being sent to you to deal with the next few days as you await surgery... Remember breathe out and let it go, Breathe in the peace and let the stress go...
Hugs and Energy
Alice xoxox - Thinking of you Melinda (the psychologist sounds fantastic - would you be willing to share her details? I'm in Melbourne too!).
Your operation is 1 month ahead of mine - same : DIEP. And yes, I've been told the same re 12 weeks of being out of action. It is a big operation, but an amazing one. The surgeons are so clever these days. When I shared my nerves with my plastic surgeon, he was quite funny. He said "Only be nervous if your surgeon is nervous, and this surgeon aint nervous." For Plastic Surgeons a DIEP is considered their 'gold standard' operation. They love doing them because the results are so amazing.
From what everyone else has shared on this forum, the first few days will be the hardest, and it gets better after that.
This is a wonderful step to the future you.
Sending the most positive energy I can.
Lots of love Nikki xxxxxx - Hello lovely, just wanted to wish you well for your surgery. I think your psychologist is right about the emotional self needing time to catch up with what you know logically, but you will get there. As you know, I had a DIEP in 2014 and it really was the turning point for me in this long ordeal. Although it did take a while to recover there was a great sense of starting to regain some normality and putting the horrible stuff behind. I do remember being very anxious and excited in the lead up to the surgery, but tried to keep distracted and as busy as possible. Look forward to hearing how it all went. Big hugs, Jane xx
- Jane thank you so much, your words really were comforting. Hugs!
Paula thank you! I have alot going on these next few days, so have to stay focused, I fear a meltdown or panic as I get closer, all just fear I think. Absolutely, yes I planned on posting in Breast Reconstruction and some photos before and after hopefully too. Hugs xo - I can't believe the time has finally come for you. It sounds like the psycoholgist really helped. Hang in there, I have been exactly where you have with the recurrence as well. You will feel great in no time and it's great you have support. Huge hugs to you and thanks for all the support you give on here. When you feel up to it could you post in the choosing breast reconstruction group as we often have members on there asking questions about your surgery.
Huge hugs
Paula xxx - Mel, I have been thinking of you and hoped you were doing OK as your surgery day moved closer. There isn't one of us who wasn't feeling afraid, nervous and anxious pre-op. We understand all the feelings you are going through! You have gone through so much to get to this point and now have a wonderful medical team to see you through. I'm really excited for you - another 3 days and you will starting your recovery and looking forwards with a lighter heart! You know you will not be alone, you'll be taking all our positive thoughts with you on Monday. Jane xx.
- Kath thank you! I really feel too I'll be better once it just happens...I am cancer free and this is going to ensure it, just have to focus!
Iserbrown - Awww thank you!!! yes my Mum will have been gone 8 years this Saturday :( still really hard but I feel her with me encouraging and loving. So much I would have asked her as she went through all of this at 40 and we never really spoke of it and well having been through it twice now geeeeee...
Molly thanks!!! Your encouragement also helps!!! so thank you...determination I do feel but yes will be sooky am sure Monday YIKES! xo - Melinda, from reading many of your posts I can tell you are so strong and brave. You'll do great, I'm sure. You give such hope and encouragement to so many on here, I hope you will take some back for yourself! You so got this! All the best for your big day xxoo
- Melinda just saw your post. Oh how exciting all the planning is coming to fruition. Understand about missing Mum! Mine died 9 years ago and she's the one I wanted the most through the BC phase.
Take care xx - You will feel so much better once surgery is done. This part I did at the beginning of my cancer treatment . I cried a lot. I really have grieved for my loss. But by golly the relief I felt once they where gone was so good. I'm forever changed and so will you be. But you will learn to love the new normal cancer free you. And you are so much more than the sum of your parts. But....grieve away. It is healthy to acknowledge those feelings and eventually you will notice one day that you have just let it go. Know we will be thinking of you and there in spirit holding your hand. X
