Hi all, I hope you are all travelling well. I'm feeling pretty down at the moment. The night sweats are keeping me awake and up until now I've managed them and the hot flushes very well. I'm also feeling generally down and lonely. I had organised a girls weekend with a few good friends but then one by one they cancelled! I was pretty p*** off to say the least. Why does this happen? Friends seem to hang around at the beginning but then slowly drop off. I suppose finishing my treatment had more of an impact on me than I first thought. I miss seeing the team regularly (but not the daily drive!). I'm trying to find people in my area who have been through the same thing as me but am having very little success. Sorry for the whinge but I thought after treament had finished that things would improve. I was so positive but now I feel quite lost. Normal or not? Take care lovely ladies and good luck with your journeys. Thinking of you as always, Love Alison xxxx

What you are feeling has been reported by many women. You need to tap into a group of supportive women to replace the team that was so important in your initial treatment. Which city are you In? (I get sick of typing this question, I'm going to add my city at the bottom of my posts in future so it is there. If you stop mid post to click on someone's profile to see you lose your post, boy is that annoying!) Have you tried the Cancer Council in your state for support groups or searched this site? Why not publish a social get-to-gether on this site and see if anyone is interested? Seaford Jenny started a group this way for the South Eastern suburbs of Melbourne. Regarding friends, some will stay with you, others will depart and some you will choose to avoid in the future, The diagnosis of breast cancer has changed you, you are no longer the same person as before. I bet you have found hidden strengths you didn't know you had and aren't at all interested in everything that you were before. I have found supportive friends in other BC women through sites like this, meeting in the chemo day unit and through groups involved in advocacy work. Only other women who have walked the walk know what you've been through and how to respond to you. With love Joy K (Melbourne)

Hi Alison, I can sympethise with you Al, I felt the same way & still do on & off.....It's amazing you can live in a big city & still feel all alone. I have lived here in Melbourne for nearly 8 years now and still have no friends let alone support groups for BC...I have aquaintances but none that I would consider a real friend. If I were over in Perth Ali I would certainly love to catch up with you as I think your a very admirably strong woman as most of us BC ladies are. I started at the mindfullness group every Friday for the past 6 weeks at the Royal Melbourne but I only went for 3 as I seemed to be an invisible person sitting amonst the other 7 ladies that were there... they spoke to each other & I did try to join in but it just didn't click, but I suppose you get that. I haven't seen 1 single friend of mine from my home town where all my friends are, since I was diagnosed....they sometimes txt or facebook me, but thats it....It's almost like they think it's contageous! hahaha :-) But I manage to get through it just as you will Al because we are strong! Oh & the hot flashes are like somebody has set fire to your inside body core yeah :-0 its terrible....but we shall overcome them don't you worry about that my friend. Anyway, Brightest Blessings coming your way with hugs, Susan xxxxx

Hi Al, sorry to hear your friends pulled out of a girls weekend away. It is hard to understand why this happens. I guess our breast cancer must scare our friends, and makes them all question their own mortality. Of course, that doesn't help us though. I have been very fortunate with most of my friends, but I realise that for many of us the people we thought we could rely on start to disappear. Thank goodness for sites like this, as we will always be here to support one another. My hospital in Sydney has a good breast cancer support group, as well as some exercise classes especially for breast surgery patients. I did attend the group for a year, but have now moved on. I love the exercise groups, and the support from them is amazing. We have all been through cancer, but for many it is years down the track. We all have coffee after the class, and can support each other in many ways. Cancer is not the main topic of conversation anymore, but is quite openly spoken about if someone has a question. This way we have the benefit of friendships where cancer isn't a taboo subject, where we all know how we are feeling. It is the best of both worlds. I'm sorry to hear about the bad nights and hot flushes. I am also experiencing this and it is the pits. Sometimes it feels like it takes hours to nod off, and each time I turn over it stimulates another hot flush, and so it is off with the blankets, cool down, and then a gradual return of the blankets, until I next move and another hot flush comes and we repeat the process again. Every once in a while, the hot flushes aren't so bad and I get a reasonable night sleep, and it is wonderful. I will take a Tamaze sleeping pill once every 3 to 5 nights just to get a good sleep. I am feeling good now, but do remember feeling very low in February this year, just after my breast reconstruction was completed, and chemo was 11 months behind me. It was a weird feeling, and I felt guilty that I felt this way, as I thought I should be back to 'normal' again and didn't feel it. We now have a new normal, and I have accepted this and am now feeling ok. Hope you will feel ok again soon as well. Take care. Love Chris xx

Feeling down...too many night sweats and hot flushes!

21 Replies

Susan_Schuback
Member
14 years ago
Hi Alison,

I can sympethise with you Al, I felt the same way & still do on & off.....It's amazing you can live in a big city & still feel all alone. I have lived here in Melbourne for nearly 8 years now and still have no friends let alone support groups for BC...I have aquaintances but none that I would consider a real friend. If I were over in Perth Ali I would certainly love to catch up with you as I think your a very admirably strong woman as most of us BC ladies are. I started at the mindfullness group every Friday for the past 6 weeks at the Royal Melbourne but I only went for 3 as I seemed to be an invisible person sitting amonst the other 7 ladies that were there... they spoke to each other & I did try to join in but it just didn't click, but I suppose you get that. I haven't seen 1 single friend of mine from my home town where all my friends are, since I was diagnosed....they sometimes txt or facebook me, but thats it....It's almost like they think it's contageous! hahaha :-) But I manage to get through it just as you will Al because we are strong! Oh & the hot flashes are like somebody has set fire to your inside body core yeah :-0 its terrible....but we shall overcome them don't you worry about that my friend. Anyway,

Brightest Blessings coming your way with hugs,

Susan xxxxx
Susan_Schuback
Member
14 years ago
Hi Alison,

I can sympethise with you Al, I felt the same way & still do on & off.....It's amazing you can live in a big city & still feel all alone. I have lived here in Melbourne for nearly 8 years now and still have no friends let alone support groups for BC...I have aquaintances but none that I would consider a real friend. If I were over in Perth Ali I would certainly love to catch up with you as I think your a very admirably strong woman as most of us BC ladies are. I started at the mindfullness group every Friday for the past 6 weeks at the Royal Melbourne but I only went for 3 as I seemed to be an invisible person sitting amonst the other 7 ladies that were there... they spoke to each other & I did try to join in but it just didn't click, but I suppose you get that. I haven't seen 1 single friend of mine from my home town where all my friends are, since I was diagnosed....they sometimes txt or facebook me, but thats it....It's almost like they think it's contageous! hahaha :-) But I manage to get through it just as you will Al because we are strong! Oh & the hot flashes are like somebody has set fire to your inside body core yeah :-0 its terrible....but we shall overcome them don't you worry about that my friend. Anyway,

Brightest Blessings coming your way with hugs,

Susan xxxxx
Joy_K
Member
14 years ago
What you are feeling has been reported by many women. You need to tap into a group of supportive women to replace the team that was so important in your initial treatment. Which city are you In? (I get sick of typing this question, I'm going to add my city at the bottom of my posts in future so it is there. If you stop mid post to click on someone's profile to see you lose your post, boy is that annoying!) Have you tried the Cancer Council in your state for support groups or searched this site? Why not publish a social get-to-gether on this site and see if anyone is interested? Seaford Jenny started a group this way for the South Eastern suburbs of Melbourne.

Regarding friends, some will stay with you, others will depart and some you will choose to avoid in the future, The diagnosis of breast cancer has changed you, you are no longer the same person as before. I bet you have found hidden strengths you didn't know you had and aren't at all interested in everything that you were before. I have found supportive friends in other BC women through sites like this, meeting in the chemo day unit and through groups involved in advocacy work. Only other women who have walked the walk know what you've been through and how to respond to you.

With love

Joy K (Melbourne)
Joy_K
Member
14 years ago
What you are feeling has been reported by many women. You need to tap into a group of supportive women to replace the team that was so important in your initial treatment. Which city are you In? (I get sick of typing this question, I'm going to add my city at the bottom of my posts in future so it is there. If you stop mid post to click on someone's profile to see you lose your post, boy is that annoying!) Have you tried the Cancer Council in your state for support groups or searched this site? Why not publish a social get-to-gether on this site and see if anyone is interested? Seaford Jenny started a group this way for the South Eastern suburbs of Melbourne.

Regarding friends, some will stay with you, others will depart and some you will choose to avoid in the future, The diagnosis of breast cancer has changed you, you are no longer the same person as before. I bet you have found hidden strengths you didn't know you had and aren't at all interested in everything that you were before. I have found supportive friends in other BC women through sites like this, meeting in the chemo day unit and through groups involved in advocacy work. Only other women who have walked the walk know what you've been through and how to respond to you.

With love

Joy K (Melbourne)

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Feeling down...too many night sweats and hot flushes!

21 Replies

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