Had my first surgery nearly two weeks ago for lumpectomy & auxillary clearance. Now have to go back for further surgery this Thursday b/c the tumour they thought was 2.5cm was actually 4.5 cm (dense breast). 7 out of 12 nodes involved, Grade 3 Invasive Ductal carcinoma, Her2 positive. Booked in for CT & bone scans & gated blood tests next week, then Oncology. Was not expecting these results at all! I've always been a strong positive person but even my resolve has started to crumble. Feeling very nervous re: next weeks tests. They're going to throw everything at it to give me the best possible chance. I know it might seem insignificant in the bigger picture but knowing I'm going to lose my hair freaks me out a bit, I've never had short hair since I was a toddler (let alone no hair!).

I am sorry to hear about your results and the return to surgery. Its ok to feel down about these things, being positive doesn't mean we never have bad moments. Vent as much as you need to on this site, we are here to listen and to support you through whatever you may need. As for the hair, we all feel that way, my son got so angry at me when I was devestated about losing my hair, he told me he was facing losing his mother so what was hair! That made me rethink things and yes it was difficult, like you I had long hair, so when my chemo started I had my hair cut short 2 weeks to the day it started to fall out, It was easier with short hair to manage that process and athen a week later I shaved it off. Honestly within a short period I stopped worrying about being bald there was too much else going on. I am now 14 months post chemo and 8 months post all treatment and surgeries and I have beautiful think hair. Its like a bob now and it came back curly, the curls are finally turning to waves but I am so happy to have a head full of hair. So just concentrate on getting better and don't worry to much about the hair, it will return. Sending you hugs Donna

It is always difficult when the initial diagnosis changes,but I think it's not uncommon.I guess the more tests they do,the more they find out.Try to keep in your mind,that BC really is very treatable these days,and most ladies go on to lead long healthy lives.I agree with Donna about the hair.Initially,it is a bit confronting to lose your hair,but I actually grew to love it!I am 59 years old,and in a million years I would never have believed that I could feel that way .I am 7 months past chemo and I feel great.My hair is thicker than it has ever been,and it is sort of wavy.We are coming into summer soon,so being bald will be so easy and cool.:) I never bought a wig,but I loved my turbans and cotton caps,and I also had a few brightly coloured scarves.Take care and stay in touch.xoxRobyn

Thanks Donna, much appreciated. It really helps having positive comments from someone :) x

Thanks Robyn, I do hope I find I embrace it like you did

Wow! to read your post brought tears and emotions flooding back. I remember the feeling exactly the same, overwhelmed, frightened no I was terrified, but now 3 months in having had surgery and currently having chemo with further treatments to follow, I am slowly adjusting and accepting this hiccup in my life plan. Like you the hair loss impacted me the most emotionally, I had never been attached to my hair until I was going to lose it. I was advised to cut my hair short so I had a buzz cut, yes brutal but when my hair started falling out it was alot easier to manage and thankful that I had done it. It has taken a few weeks but now it isn't such an issue to me. It has taken me awhile but slowly my emotions are stabilizing and negativity and fear subsiding. Take care, keep in touch I found this site so helpful and still do. love Rita x

Feeling Anxious! | BCNA Online Network

16 Replies

Rita1963
Member
12 years ago
Like you i had dose dense AC fortnightly and I had hot flushes on the first night, these hot flushes were more like internal meltdowns which continued on for a couple of nights. Settled, but still throughout AC slept in light clothing and no heating. My hair did start to fall out within a couple of days, with major loss after second dose. I did find that my scalp was really sensitive after 2nd dose. I am now having Taxol and experiencing no nausea, however day 4 bone pain pretty intense but that to settles. So all in all the chemo regime for me has been quite tolerable. Hoping same for you.

Rita
Fiona_46
Member
12 years ago
Had my first dense dose of AC Chemo yesterday, will have it for four cycles every 2 weeks then taxol every week for another 12 weeks. Herceptin for 12 months, 30 sessions of radiation after chemo & 10 years of hormone treatment. Nausea really minor thankfully but serious hot flushes on second day, temp fine but face red hot. Also noticed lots of strands of hair coming out too! (Hair cut not planned until next week). Seems very early as 1st AC Chemo yesterday. Anyone else had such quick reactions?
mgndam1603
Member
12 years ago
I went to a nail boutique before my chemo started and had a mani pedi and got my toe nails painted black with a pretty flower design painted on my big toe. I painted my finger nails myslef each week and kept that up all through. I did loose 2 toe nails but that was it.

Whilst I managed to keep all my finger nails their condition was really very poor and they had rings on them like a tree for each of my chemos, funny really.

As time passes you forget these things, its natures way I suppose of helping us move on.

Donna
mumflo
Member
12 years ago
Think we all can relate to this, I was told my cancer was small 8mm caught early. Thought all I'd need was al lumpectomy and radiation. Unfortunately it had spread to my lymph nodes with multiple areas of cancer through the nodes tested.. I've just finished chemo. It's hard losing your hair, collateral damage but a damn fine sign that the chemo is working. My nails survived just look a bit ordinary. My daughter and I had a lot of fun with scarves and hats even went bald occasionally, I wish you all the best Fiona x
Tashie125
Member
12 years ago
I used the frozen mittens on my hands when I was having chemo and my nails didn't fall off. I also ate icy poles to stop mouth ulcers so make sure you ask about them. Good luck.
chevellie
Member
12 years ago
No worries Fiona, we are in it together. I forgot to mention that i'm Her2 positive as well. Still don't have a stage yet as they haven't received the final pathology report which seems to be taking it's time. My Oncology Doctor says she thinks i'm probably 3A stage. Guess i will eventully know. Take care X
chevellie
Member
12 years ago
No worries Fiona, we are in it together. I forgot to mention that i'm Her2 positive as well. Still don't have a stage yet as they haven't received the final pathology report which seems to be taking it's time. My Oncology Doctor says she thinks i'm probably 3A stage. Guess i will eventully know. Take care X
Fiona_46
Member
12 years ago
Hi Michele, keeping in touch sounds like a good plan! What a sight we're going to be, bald with short black painted nails! Lol! I'm still another three to four weeks off chemo when I recover from second surgery so if will be good to follow your journey a couple of weeks behind you, you can be the trailblazer! :)
Fiona_46
Member
12 years ago
Hi Teresa, I haven't heard about the cooling cap but will certainly ask, I see the Oncologist next week. :)
Fiona_46
Member
12 years ago
Thanks Rita, I wish you well & it's good to hear someone a few months along