Feel like a real cow bringing this up.

Hi Helen

Don't feel bad about whinging and whining.  People don't understand that we live with this 24/7. "Put it all behind you now - you are finished treatment" is what I have heard so many times.  Bullshit - bc never goes away.  We need to live as best of lives as we can.  I (think) that I am finally getting through to my husband (he has been really good BUT) that we need to do nice things for ourselves NOW.  "What about our retirement money??"  I reminded him that I may not be around in old age and I'm nearly retired now (55 and looking to go back to work in January only if I am well enough).   On the outside most of us look really well but we still have to cope with ongoing medication/treatment etc and others don't understand that there are always side affects.  If I was you - and I'm not- I would just continue to be ME.  Do what you can, don't do what you can't, enjoy what you like and bugger the rest.  I am happy in my own skin and don't care what other "little people who don't know the real meaning of life" think.  Most people who have not travelled the bc journey as so scared of the prospect that they do "run" from us.  Don't worry about these people - let them go and you will find that so many more wonderful positive people will come into your life.  Good wishes for you - take care of number ONE - YOU. XLeonie