Fear

Hi jandy23,.

Thanks that does help, it reinforces what I mostly believe - that the cancer probably wont come back, and I am doing everything to minimise the risk the same as you, but now that I am about to do this huge thing and am weighing up the pro's and con's, the little niggling fear wont go away.

I do want to look 'normal' again and if it wasnt for the cost it probably wouldnt be such a hard decision. When I look at my out of pocket expenses, and the leave I am using at work, its probably around $15-$16K all up, which is alot of money for us.

I'm not sure of my exact statistic for recurrance but I had 2 tumours 2.5cm and 1.9cm and it was in 8 of 25 lymph nodes and was HER2 positive so I think my stats are a bit higher than others. However as we both know, stats dont really mean anything to the individual. My auntie had a little tumour with no lymph node involved and hers is now terminal.

I'm only 48 so I figure if I get another 10 years I'll be happy and it will be worth it.