Fear

Jeez that's a tough dilemma. I only had a small lump removed so I'm not in anything like the same position as you but I can understand how you would hesitate to put so much money and time and pain endurance into a new set of breasts. But it sounds like you have committed to it already so it must be something that you really want. And I can understand that too. I would be wanting new boobs if I'd had them removed.

I don't know the details of your diagnosis - how likely or unlikely your cancer is to recur - but from my point of view I personally can't live my life thinking it's going to come back.  I was told that after all the treatment I would have about a 12% chance that it might come back. I'm doing everything (well almost) that I can to minimise that risk - eating healthy, hardly drinking alcohol anymore, exercising like crazy - so I tell myself that the risk must be even smaller and I'll probably live to a ripe old age.

The thing is though we're all going to die one day and that's very hard to get our heads around. Whether it's sooner due to BC recurrance or later due to something else, it's going to happen. So I think all we can do is live the best lives we can, taking care of ourselves, and hoping for the best.

I'm sorry that probably doesn't help at all. Good luck with whatever you decide. Hope things work out well.