Fear of losing hair

Question

Hi everyone,
I had my first chemo almost 2 weeks ago. I am to have the first cycle of AC of 3 weeks then 2 weeks after that followed by weekly taxol till mid October. I had a port put in on the same day as chemo as I only have one arm left. The port was a pain to recover from with 3 young children. " You can't pick up anything heavier than 3 kg.!" WHATEVER!! I heard that with each of my surgeries and it's not going to happen and it didn't but it was still a pain to shower and wash my hair while the wound healed.&nbsp;
Anyway my next loss of identity after losing my breast is hair loss. Can anyone tell me does it happen all at once or over a few days and what day does it start to fall out. Should I just shave it when it starts falling out?
I used "Wigs on Wheels" today to buy a wig and even though I found one that might look ok I still didn't feel right about wearing it. Bought a couple of hats too but nothing is going to replace my hair and whatever I have left of my self confidence. It will be hard to see my oldest son's face when he sees me without hair ( he will be 4 in August). I cried trying to explain to him that I will lose hair and he just hugged me and said "please don't cry mummy".
So after the hair loss when exactly do your eyebrows and eyelashes go? That will be even worse I think as the wig will look wrong and fake when you don't have the other. And yes I have booked into "Look good feel better" but I am not sure if that will make a difference.
Looking back over my whole experience with Cancer so far, I think I am more in peace with myself about everything but I am changed, I am not the same person anymore, and I never will have the I am invincible perception on life. Even though I don't feel like cancer is as scary as I initially thought it was, I feel like it creates a mental scar bigger than &nbsp;the one on what used to be your breast.
Adriana
&nbsp;

liztay82 · Answer

Hey I was the sane scared about my hair but in the end I cut it off I got my partner to clipper cut it to number 3 I wore my wig but found it really itchy so I got him to shave the rest my hair was very long butt length so it was real upsetting for me but I did it I wear my wig when on outings and wear scarfs indoors or bald im into my 3 dose of ac next Wednesday is my 4th and final dose I still have my eye brows and lashes I'm sure my breast nurse said I may not loose them my boys are 6 2 and 10 my 6 year old was upset cause he didn't want me to shave my hair but I said to him he could have a go at shaving my hair now he loves my wig and says to me I like ure new hair better :/  the look good feel better workshop they show u how to draw ure eye brows on correctly  I also found with my wig when I wear it is how many people actually comment on my new do ( no one knows it's a wig my boys friends ect) only my family and close friends know it's a wig I even had the chemo nurse who hasn't even seen or meet me before nearly fall off her chair when I told her it was a wig she thought it was my hair

jenpen · Answer

Totally agree with you Adriana that the mental scars are the issue with breast cancer.....but you will be astounded at how much strength you have!
I had my last chemo in January.....for the hair loss (which was devastating for me because I've always loved my hair more than my breasts!) I first noticed it 14 days after my first chemo.&nbsp; My kids are 10 &amp; 11 and I decided they would be my hairdressers when it came time to clipper it short......then a few days later shorter again.&nbsp; This made it less scary for them to see Mum with no hair and made them feel part of the experience too......
As for eyebrows and eye lashes....I didnt lose them till after my last chemo! But I know other ladies who lose them earlier - we are all different so you will discover for yourself when that will happen.
I had a few different wigs at the start...but once people found out about my diagnosis (I live in a small country town) I felt fake wearing them and opted instead to wear bright coloured scarves....it was also summer so I felt hot and uncomfortable with the wigs.&nbsp;
Adriana, wishing you best of luck and sending cyber hug your way...Jen x
(FYI....it is now nearly 5 months since my last chemo and my hair is thick and growing....probably about 3cm length, very soft, silky and curly!! Something to look forward to...x)

jenpen · Answer

Totally agree with you Adriana that the mental scars are the issue with breast cancer.....but you will be astounded at how much strength you have!
I had my last chemo in January.....for the hair loss (which was devastating for me because I've always loved my hair more than my breasts!) I first noticed it 14 days after my first chemo.&nbsp; My kids are 10 &amp; 11 and I decided they would be my hairdressers when it came time to clipper it short......then a few days later shorter again.&nbsp; This made it less scary for them to see Mum with no hair and made them feel part of the experience too......
As for eyebrows and eye lashes....I didnt lose them till after my last chemo! But I know other ladies who lose them earlier - we are all different so you will discover for yourself when that will happen.
I had a few different wigs at the start...but once people found out about my diagnosis (I live in a small country town) I felt fake wearing them and opted instead to wear bright coloured scarves....it was also summer so I felt hot and uncomfortable with the wigs.&nbsp;
Adriana, wishing you best of luck and sending cyber hug your way...Jen x
(FYI....it is now nearly 5 months since my last chemo and my hair is thick and growing....probably about 3cm length, very soft, silky and curly!! Something to look forward to...x)

mgndam1603 · Answer

it is so hard, as women losing our hair is really confronting. I got a wig but hated it and resorted to scarves and hats, lucky my hair lose was mainly over the winter time.
My eldest grandson was 6 at the time of my hair loss and he was so sweet, his parents explained it all to him and when he visited and said you are still grandma and I think you are beautiful.
My hair started falling out at exactly the 2 week mark and my goodness it was coming out in handfuls. I asked my husband to shave it and that was certainly traumatic for me but once it was gone I did get used to it. As time went on and I had others issue to deal with it didn't seem so important.
I am growing it now, I am 1 year post chemo and have a beautiful coverage of curly hair.
So just hang in there, it does get better and children do accept you in fact much better than adults.
Se4nding you hugs
Donna

mgndam1603 · Answer

it is so hard, as women losing our hair is really confronting. I got a wig but hated it and resorted to scarves and hats, lucky my hair lose was mainly over the winter time.
My eldest grandson was 6 at the time of my hair loss and he was so sweet, his parents explained it all to him and when he visited and said you are still grandma and I think you are beautiful.
My hair started falling out at exactly the 2 week mark and my goodness it was coming out in handfuls. I asked my husband to shave it and that was certainly traumatic for me but once it was gone I did get used to it. As time went on and I had others issue to deal with it didn't seem so important.
I am growing it now, I am 1 year post chemo and have a beautiful coverage of curly hair.
So just hang in there, it does get better and children do accept you in fact much better than adults.
Se4nding you hugs
Donna

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Fear of losing hair

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