Fat, Bald and Yuk!

Oh Penny.  Deep breath.  As Tonya said, we've been there.  You will be back and you will feel good again and you won't get a fright every time you glance into your reflection.  Nothing is permanent - the feeling, the baldness, the frustration....   One day, in the not too distant future, you will have moved on from this stage of your recovery.  I remember it well and I know what you are saying about people wanting to hear from the 'up' you.  In my case, that was actually in my head, coming from my assumption that that was how other people expected me to be.  It took quite some time for me into my chemo to look at my family and friends in the eye and say "no, actually I'm, not well and I don't know how to explain it - I just feel really sick/tired/wonky."  Hang in there, you will be back......  :)