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w_w_w_dette's avatar
w_w_w_dette
Member
14 years ago

False start and just a bit angry!

Hi ladies, I'll start with an apology because I need to vent a little!

Last Monday was d-day for my first chemo with the oncologist appointment beforehand.  All going well only about 10 minutes behind schedule - runs through what will happen, medication for the following days and follow up visit on day 10. Then a quick check of my bloods which were taken a week earlier - oh...."you're white cell count and neutophils in particular are low and we haven't started."

So down 2 floors to have bloods redone - 45 minute wait till oncologist has results, then another 30 as he's been called out. Umm need now to confer with haematologist - another hour wait. Haematologist arrives, 10 minute chat and decision made - no chemo and bone marrow biopsy to be taken. At least they can do it the next day. So an hour and a half drive home and prepare to come back the next day.

Now more waiting - hopefully we'll have those results tomorrow. Shitty thing is I was so vague that I don't even know what the next steps will be when the results get back.

It wasn't until the chemo didn't go ahead that I realised how much it had taken for me to prepare for it - the tears just streamed Monday night. My husband's classic statement the next day - you weren't happy were you. He doesn't do emotions well!! 

I'm now worried sick that I can't start chemo and think there's a problem if I don't within 6 weeks of surgery. If they have to change my chemo cocktail will it reduce my survival rate and of course now the plan to have finished treatment by Christmas is out the window.

Well have had a grumble, now need to get back to taking that 1 step at a time approach and try to remember that no amount of angst and sleeplessness will change what happens.

Thanks for listening/reading.

Dette xxx

 

  • hb's avatar
    hb
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Dette,

    No wonder you were upset, that must have been so frustrating! But like the others have said, at least your treatment team is paying attention to what your body can and can't handle.

    On my 6th round of chemo, I was told (promptly and without drama) that because I had some neuropathy my treatment would be delayed for a week.  I felt like I'd rocked up to school for a week of maths exams only to be told that the place would be closed down for a week -- overjoyed! I felt like I'd got out of jail free. I scooted out so fast, I was worried the oncologist would change his mind.  Later, I realised that of course the delay would set my treatment schedule back a week, and it was annoying having to change everything (including radiotherapy schedule) but that week of feeling great -- almost normal! -- was priceless.

    Anyway Dette, I just wanted to offer that. I know your circumstance is completely different; you were mucked around and have anxiety now about what's going on with your bloods & how things will proceed. But maybe down the track you'll get some kind of nice payback. I guess we have to take comfort wherever we find it.

    I hope your treatment works out, will be thinking of you.

    go well,

    Heather

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    14 years ago

    Sorry to hear about your setback Dette.It's hard enough psyching yourself up for chemo only to find out it's delayed.Unfortunately this journey has more twists and turns than a theme park ride.You never get a sneek preview as to what's coming around the next bend. Well you don't want to start chemo with low white cells-too dangerous.You'll just have to be patient and go with the flow.Good luck for tomorrow.

                                      Tonya xx

  • Tanya's avatar
    Tanya
    Member
    14 years ago

    I know it is frustrating sweety, but if they are so low before you even start, if they were to give you chemo you would be likely to pick up anything with such a low count and get really unwell, so sit tight sweety, as Moira said it is good that they are paying attention to you.

    xx

    Tanya

     

  • moira1's avatar
    moira1
    Member
    14 years ago

    Sorry to hear your chemo was delayed, and yes one more thing to worry you, but i have travelled six hour drive to be told we're not doing it today, so back in the car for a 6 hour drive home. but you know i was glad i didnt get it, as it showed, they are paying attention to the rest of my body, and not just throwing chemo at me for the sake of it. so even although it's annoying, you will get through it, and get started when they know you are fit enough. so like you saidm, one day at a time is the motto, as hard as that is for you at the moment. so good luck for the next visit, and  hopefully you will be able to get started.