Drowning

Sorry to hear you have an attack of the miseries.You've been through alot and I think we stay strong to get ourselves through tough treatment.When it's over we kinda go to jelly and stop and think about what just happened.I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer.The first was back in 2003 and I opted for a lumpectomy,full node clearance and radiation.I was 47 and it was a shock but I thought it was a"one off".Low and behold it came back 7yrs later in the same spot.So last year had the mastectomy and chemo and am now on Tamoxifen. I got quite down last August- probably a combination of Tamoxifen and being bald for sooo long.Anyway,my oncologist put me on a very low dose antidepressant(endep 10mg).It lifted my mood,reduced the hot flushes and helped me sleep at night.It doesn't seem to give me any side effects.I'm abit like Josie- I shy away from mirrors.I hate to see myself naked with my gnarled chest scar.I call myself "bride of Frankenstein"! But once I'm dressed with my prosthesis,I forget about it. Losing a breast really knocks your self image.It's been a year now and I'm still trying to get my head around it.And then ofcourse,you think about whether the cancer might come back.Actually,it's amazing we are not all locked up in a psycho ward on tranquilizers!! You must have had to endure alot of horrible treatment to survive cancer 3 times.No wonder you feel down.But if it's 24/7 you may need to talk to your doctor.We understand how you are feeling- there is a real sisterhood on this site.We commiserate,we laugh but most of all we support each other.So jump back on here and you won't feel so alone.

                                                Tonya xx