Hey @Zoffiel .... have you ever thought of putting a bunch of your comments together in a 'How To Get Over BC & it's Effects" booklet? I reckon it would be a best seller!! ;)
@PatsyN .... yep - as Zoffiel has just said - do what ever you want to do (or not do!) Whatever feels 'right' for you at the time.
There are no rule books on how you should feel or react to everything you've been thru.
Just know that you have the support of everyone here - and things WILL get better!
This is the best place to vent!! xx Getting it off your chest is quite cathartic - you'll always feel better afterwards! :)