Thank you everyone for all your support. After all that had happened during my first dose of Docetaxel I did manage 2 ‘normal’ days before my second treatment. My birthday on the 13th was spent as a blubbering mess with each thoughtful card , phone call and presents. It was strange but once it was over I got a sense of relief. Christmas is my next hurdle. I’m normally Christmas obsessed but this year I’ve decided to keep it low key and what will be will be.
i had my second treatment yesterday which went fairly well. I had an un normal calm about me, until I seen the oncologist who I thought would have all the answers, but she couldn’t help me as far as anxiety and wants me to return to a psychologist. She didn’t think it was the steroids but I disagree, my problems started when I came of the steroids. I’m on 4 tablets a day for three days, then comotosed for 2, then panic and anxiety sets in.
when I had my first treatment the Docetaxel was injected at a slower pace, increasing every 12 minutes. This time, because of no reaction they started at normal pace. I started to feel a strange sensation going through my body to my head, my eyes felt weird and I sensed I might faint. I could describe it as a full blown panic attack about to start. I told the nurse and she immediately turn it off. I could feel it disappearing instantly. I got a sensation go through my body leaving my feet tingly and cold. She took my vitals and all was fine. She said it was a reaction she’d never seen. I put it down to my subconscious mind reacting. I felt calm at the time, the nurse had me chatting and I felt reasonabley good. Even the canuala was giving me no pain (or bruising).
so we waited a few minutes and I told her I was ready to go again. This time they did it at the slower pace gradually increasing it. I felt a little faint headed when I moved my eyes from left to right. I also had my mum keeping me occupied with her tablet games and the day was over before I knew it.
im taking the Ativan straight away, listening to binaural beats at night, drinking loads of water and basically councilling myself before I hit the ‘i Can’t do this anymore stage’. This time my biggest incentive is I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE CHEMO TO GO 🙌🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thank you once again everyone, I’m sorry I don’t reply to you all as I get in those moods. Your comments have given me incite, courage and the charge I needed to soldier on ♥️♥️♥️♥️