Hi @Kellee,
I had Docetaxel after FEC for my chemo. I did not have anxiety or depression but it was still a very tough time. While on FEC I managed to keep up my daily walks and I think this helped me to mentally cope ok.
Docetaxel was not the same. I ended up in hospital after the first round with a mystery infection requiring IV antibiotics. I could not regain my energy at all on this chemo. The only good days were the ones I had the steroids. I slept a lot (like all day) on this chemo but I had no nausea. It was a lonely time as I had no energy to do anything. Yes this makes it so hard to keep your mind in any sort of good place!
It did not, I think, get worse each time though. It was just a long few weeks of feeling awful. Of course this made it tough mentally but I can tell you that it did end and I did start to feel better once I had enough energy to go for a walk again.
That was over 5 years ago for me now. I still tell people that those weeks on Docetaxel have given me a new outlook on life. I never want to feel like that again and I find joy in the simplest things now. I so appreciate feeling ok, being able to taste food and coffee again!
I do know how hard this is and I particularly remember people telling me only ‘one more after this one’. At the time that just sounded like forever but I did get through it and life was so much better afterwards. I know this is just so tough and feels like forever but it will pass. It’s ok to feel like crap on this chemo. It is not just you being a worrier. But it is just the temporary drugs and you will get back on top of things after they are out of your system.
There was a bunch of us on this network on this drug when I was going through treatment. We used to pour out all our feelings on here and the only good thing was knowing that we were not alone. It is a crap chemo but it does end. Sending hugs and strength your way. Don’t suffer in silence, get your doctors to give you something to help get you through those hard days. If Ativan helps, then get some more and use it when you need to. This is temporary. Take care. xoxoxoxo