Hugs to you @Kellee....Chemo really is hard, very hard, but it is something you can do. If this crook old chook could drag her sorry arse back, again and again, so can you too. The fact of the matter is, if you stop, and the nightmare returns, you will have to live with the "What If"? What if I had completed the chemo, would I still be in this position? Completing the course doesn't guarantee no recurrence or spread, but it does remove the possibility of you regretting that decision. Unfortunately we only get one bite of the apple and there is no rewind button if things go pear shaped. Hang in there...Ally.