DIEP reconstruction anxiety

 It's my second cancer journey. The first one happened 7 years ago.  A small 8 mm growth  found near the sternum in my left breast which was treated with a lumpectomy and radiations. I recovered well, reorganised my nutrition and exercice routines to become fit and healthy. In fact I've never been healthier!  I thought the cancer was well and truly behind me until a small lesion, 5 to 6mm of abnormal looking cells, was detected (in my left breast again) at the end of October.  Nothing showed on the annual mammogram, it appeared at the ultrasound and was not there last year.  I had an immediate core biopsy.  The result, a week later, was a major blow.  Infiltrating moderately differenciated carcinoma... The nightmare had returned, only worse.  This time I won't get out of it with a lumpectomy.  The treatment, as I cannot get radiation twice, will be mastectomy. This was scheduled to happen on November 23.  A week later I was told I could get immediate/delayed reconstruction through tissue expanders. This would happen on December 1... That was, i thought,  good news, I hang on to it.   Last week, I met the plastic surgeon.  I was told that tissue expanders are not suitable in my case because the skin has been irradiated and is more fragile.  The best option for me is DIEP, the graft of abdominal tissue, a much heavier and longer operation. I was told ' it is the Rolls Royce of reconstruction' as it involves 'native' tissues and produces more natural results  ( I am 58 and the law of gravity has taken its toll eventhough I don't have big breasts!) .  This option requires several surgeons on deck at the same time and surgery has been delayed again to the unconfirmed date of December 15... Meanwhile the breast surgeon says my cancer is a slow growing one and can wait another two weeks.. So, on the positive side, I have two extra weeks to find out more about DIEP.  I am anxious about the length of the operation ( eventhough I am fit and healthy) about the pain , the recovery time  and  the outcome  ( I may not have enough  harvested tissues to make the same size breast...)...  In short I am scared !  I am looking for  advice /encouragement  to give me  the strength needed to meet the challenge.  Thank you :-)   Isabelle2