hi there @sandramj........
I agree with the comments of all of the other wise ladies here....every journey is different and how we react is uniquely personal....
The human brain is an amazing organ in terms of how it processes and stores information.....and again -this is a highly individual experience......
for me personally I feel like I have run the gauntlet of emotions from diagnosis ( I literally had an OH FUCK moment in the dr's office, shed some tears with my hubby in the dr's car park, then went right back to work to do timesheets an hour later!!)......I kept working for another few weeks whilst getting the rest of the tests done etc...I could see people around me were literally stressing out because I was just business as usual, cracking a few jokes here and there and basically getting the day to day stuff done........2 days before surgery I realised that I could no longer face work - I needed to "bunker down" at home with my loved ones....... in the days following surgery I felt incredibly greatful for the love and support from my family and friends......after 3 weeks back at home I began to feel incredibly resentful of the constant stream of visitors who couldn't seem to understand that I was beyond exhausted and just needed to sleep, sleep and sleep some more!!! yes I had good colour (which seems to be a universal post cancer surgery measurement) but my word,,,, I have never felt so tired in my life and putting on the kettle to make cups of tea for others was not really helping me heal at all (but hey they all say - you are healing well and each day is better)....... then I felt guilty for being cranky at those who just have my best interests at heart......
so anyway - I am only 5 weeks post bilateral mastectomy and immediate reconstruction, followed by a trip back to theatre last week for clean up necrotic tissue on right breast incision.....so all in all, very early days for me!! Waiting to see oncologist next week - and to be honest I am feeling pretty chilled about it....what will be will be and I trust my medical team to look after my health.......my surgeon has indicated that no chemo or rad needed - but as I am hormone receptive then longer term medication will be needed....but until I hear it from the oncologist I am not really ready to think too much about it......it is out of my hands......
my words of advice.....trust your own judgement, beat your own drum, and do what feels right for you, and if that doesn't work, then try something else until it fits right for you....... xxxxx
hugs, love and best wishes to you on your journey ahead xxx,
sally x
