Hiya - I so understand what you're saying ! I was diagnosed just before xmas 2011 - and 2 wks later was in (public) having a lumpectomy. Once you get the full diagnosis things happen at a great speed - which is brilliant for me as it gave me no time to stop and thing and get even more worried !! I'd love to know how you are going - just know that this site is a wonderful place - even if you just read posts - full of info and it's great to know that you are not the only one feeling the way you do ! take care xxxx