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Annie13's avatar
Annie13
Member
14 years ago

Day 4

So last night I had to make the call to tell my nan about what is going on. She just couldn't handle it and was unbelievably upset. I couldn't even get to telling her details or explaining the situation. She just heard 'cancer' and that was it!

I had to reassure her that I'm a tough cookie and that everything would be ok, but she obviously just thought the worst. I know people are going to find it hard, but that sort of reaction definitely doesn't make things any easier!

Tomorrow is my trip home to see my family and best friends...usually I am so looking forward to a visit home, but this time I am dreading it. I feel sick to the stomach just thinking about it.

But, I do have a fantastic family and fantastic friends so I know they will be supportive.

I also spoke to work yesterday about what was coming up and they were absolutely FANTASTIC about it. My boss pretty much said you just do whatever you need to do, no questions asked. My colleagues, who are also my friends, offered any sort of help should I need it. That part is a weight off my shoulders that's for sure.

On the positive, my amazing partner has organised a three week 'care schedule' for me after my operation - god bless him! He will look after me for the first week, his mum for the second week, and my nan if we need for the third week. I know this can't be easy for him either, but he is just being so amazing with it all.

TGIF....am cracking open a bottle of red tonight!  

6 Replies

  • Shazinoz's avatar
    Shazinoz
    Member
    14 years ago

    There is NOTHING selfish about it, absolutely NOTHING.

    You need to focus on yourself and let everyone else do there own thing - YOU are the important one, during this time and your health, mental health etc are the important things.

  • Annie13's avatar
    Annie13
    Member
    14 years ago

    Thanks again Lara. Had to tell a few more family / friends on the weekend....it's so incredibly hard to do. To be honest I can see myself dealing with it the way you have....I don't really want to be looking after everyone else at the moment. I'm sure that's selfish in some respect, but I guess that's just how I feel at the moment.

    On a positive, my friends and family were truly AMAZING in their offers of support. God, it makes me realise what amazing people I have in my life.x

  • FD's avatar
    FD
    Member
    14 years ago

    Sorry to hear about Nan's reaction. My heart breaks for her. I found telling people the hardest especially when I could see how much it was affecting them. In the end I isolated myself from face to face contact with most people so I could concentrate on my treatment and remain focused. It didn't please everyone and to be honest most people found it strange I'm sure. But I had to do it my way, it was me after all that had to fight the bugger. Never want to jump the gun but it appears I have won this time so my advice would be do it your way.

    Thinking of you

    Lara xx

  • Shazinoz's avatar
    Shazinoz
    Member
    14 years ago

    My partner has been amazing too - since I was diagnosed in December he has been really supportive (he was before this as well - but more so) after I was diagnosed everymorning when we got up he would ask me if I was ok, if I needed to talk about my diagnosis etc, I think he was waiting for me to fall in a heap and amazingly I didn't).

    Since my mastectomy on 3rd Feb and until present day while going through chemo, he has done ALL of the housework, ALL of the cooking (I have cooked a couple of meals lately but maybe once a week for the last month), He wont let me drive so will drop what he is doing and drive me anywhere I want to go - even if it is just to get junk food for lunch. He retired 4 years ago at 47 yrs old to become my full time carer (due to pre-existing conditions I have), I have been medically retired for nearly 17 yrs, at 24yrs old after workplace accident, we are both now on pensions now (me on Disability and him on Carers, so our income is limited but we still enjoy life).

    I am sorry about your nan's reaction but she will calm down and come to terms with it - I had some similar reactions and I just keep repeating - we caught it early, this wont kill me, I will have my surgery and nay treatment and I will be fine - and then the hard part for my brother and sister - but you need to go and see your Dr and tell them becasue you will need close monitoring now.

    Good Luck with your trip home, to make it easier on you designate one or a few people to tell all the rest for you ,so that you don't have to repeat it over and over and over and deal with everyones reactions (if you want to that is, I couldn't do this as my family and friends are spread out and so Ihave to phone each one after Christmas and tell thme (didn't want to ruin their Christmas so left it unitl after then to tell them)..

     

  • such_is_life's avatar
    such_is_life
    Member
    14 years ago

    I am sorry to hear about your nans reaction and how hard it would of been for you, but so happy to hear that your husband is being so supportive, mine said nothing, did a bit of extra house work for a time and that was it, keep up the good spirits I am sure that bottle of red will help  and good luck for the weekene will be thinking of you.

    Cheers Narelle xx

  • such_is_life's avatar
    such_is_life
    Member
    14 years ago

    I am sorry to hear about your nans reaction and how hard it would of been for you, but so happy to hear that your husband is being so supportive, mine said nothing, did a bit of extra house work for a time and that was it, keep up the good spirits I am sure that bottle of red will help  and good luck for the weekene will be thinking of you.

    Cheers Narelle xx