Day 3, Round 1, Chemotherapy

Donna, is chemo a foregone conclusion? I'd thought it was too from the very beginning....turned out my pathology results actually meant I was in a grey area, where they could not recommend chemo outright, leaving it to me to decide. If I was in Europe the protocol would say don't have it...if I was in the US it would see me undergo the oncotype DX gene test, which would probably also show a low score and say I could consoder forgoing chemo...but I had a small focus suspicuous of a lymphvcascular invasion, and although my node biopsy was clear, that lttle bastard was showing signs of wanting to create it's own blood supply, so I decided to go for chemo, as I want to fight this with all science, life and nature has to offer.

It's hard not to leap ahead, but best to wait till the pathology report is at hand. I had some pleasant surprises, and things even turned out to not be what they had been though to be before. Topsy turvy, twists and turns. Have learnt the hard way to wait until I have the facts in front of me before making decisions (with occassional panic attacks, thinking about dying way younger than I want to, lying staring at the ceiling worrying about recurrence before I've even finished treatment regime round one ... no one said this journey has to make sense all the time! ;-) ) ...but you're doing the right thing trying not to worry...and if you can fill tonight and tomorow with activities and things that bring you peace...that will help just a little and tuesday and the answers you need will be with you before you know it.

stay in touch

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