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Lorincina's avatar
Lorincina
Member
14 years ago

Day 16

16 days ago I had my appointment at Sunshine Hospital - and I was told I had three small lumps in my left breast. I would need a mastectomy and possibly an axillary clearance.

It's been a very distressing time. My emotions have been up and down. Some days I am euphoric with happiness, other days I cry and think dark thoughts.

It's been hard telling my family and friends. It's also been hard dealing with their emotional response, and some of their inappropriate comments. My husband is fantastic - he's been doing interference and talking to them and giving me some space away from their comments. 

I'm sad that I'm losing my breast, I worry about the pain I will experience, and I worry that I will not be able to have any more children.

I'm angry, I think why me? I'm only 39, no family history, and I have never really been sick.

But I also feel grateful that it's early breast cancer and the lumps are small.

I'm having a breast reconstruction using implants at the same time as the mastectomy. which has helped me to accept I'm losing my breast. I'm still hopeful I won't need the axillary clearance.

My surgery is in 6 more sleeps.

3 Replies

  • Lorincina's avatar
    Lorincina
    Member
    14 years ago

    Thank you so much for replying, and for sharing your op and post op experience. I'm hoping the painkillers kick in before i wake up! My surgeon assured me the hardest part is not the physical side of the surgery - but the emotional side (ie. losing a breast). Will have to see if she is right on that.

    You're so right about this network - I've found it so theurapeutic reading other women's blog posts - and already feel very supported.

    Today is certainly a good day for me - I've kept myself busy doing the kiddie ballet/piano run and doing a bit of a house clean before my hosptial stay. Nothing like a clean house to make me feel in control.

    All the best. Lori

     

  • Lorincina's avatar
    Lorincina
    Member
    14 years ago

    Thanks so much for replying. This network is fantastic, and I've felt so well informed about what is ahead for me after reading other women's blog posts.

    The surgeon has not confirmed whether I will need radiation or chemo. She's said they will know once i've had the mastectomy and pathology done. I am preparing myself that I will need both.

    I have one child, and was about to embark on IVF for a second, when I found a lump. Once I've confirmed whether I need chemo, I guess I'll have to decide whether to pursue this.

    All the best. Lori.

  • nixbix's avatar
    nixbix
    Member
    14 years ago
    Hi Lorincina. Welcome to our site! There is always someone here to talk to at any hour of the day it seems. You'll probably surprise yourself at how much inner strength you have as you go through your journey! You'll make new friends, us, and probably lose some too. Some people don't know how to deal with others situation and back off. Just their way of dealing with it. You'll find out who your real friends are. I did, that's for sure! Your almost a mirror image of me! Except for the mascectomy part. I was 39 in sept 2010 when l was diagnosed. I had 8 chemo. Had a lumpectomy with axillary clearance, 5 out if the 14 nodes infected. Then 6 weeks radiation & ovaries removed just before xmas. Thank god l already had my boys! Sounds like you have young children? My boys were in primary school at the time. No family history either. A husband who was my absolute saint! R u having chemo? Praying for you that you don't need to! It's just over a year since l finished my treatments and l must say life's good! Still feeling a few aftereffects in my bones/muscles but working on relief. Adapted to the new normal but the emotional scars will be there for a long time I'm sure. There is an amazing network of support for you. Wishing all the best. Keep us posted & ask for any advise. Warm hugs N