Thankyou for all your replies.
Ive only just had a chance to log back on here (Im still new to the page)
The surgery has been and gone, we got the devastating news that 13 out of 14 lymph nodes were involved and that there will now be more treatment after chemo is finished (already completed 4 rounds of AC now finished 4 out of 12 round of Taxol) Ill need my ovaries out which was hard to hear as we wanted more children, ill need radiation, the hormone treatment and ive been told I can try another drug called Xeloda?
The doctors have told us its even more advanced than they initialy thought with a high chance of recurrence and high risk of spreading. Psychologically we weren't prepared for the results post surgery, especially the 4 page pathology report, its hard enough going through this at any age, but at 30 with 2 young children, it really stopped us in our tracks and made us crumble. I was given compression garments to wear post surgery as fluid was already pooling in my arms/hands etc and alot of cording. Since starting the Taxol and the regular Dexamethasone, its increase the fluid retention in my arm.
The biggest thing post op is the fear and anxiety that has become a daily issue, the fear that comes when its out of your control, the fear that you dont know if or when it will spread else where, the fear of not being around to watch our children grow up and the fear of death itself.
Im a very positive person that can portray that im copping fine, and I think that is why not many people know that im suffering behind my big smile. Most of the time I can distract myself and get on with life, but its those moments in the car, or in the shower, or when I hop into bed, that my thoughts start running wild about all the "what if's"
I will try and jump onto the forums more, I think I need to find some support groups as well in my area.
thankyou again for all your messages, it truly mean so much to me!
