Cancer and Weight gain

I'm  4 weeks into my taxol treatment and felt fabulous at the beginning. I was so excited to finish AC chemo and have just a wee bit of energy and retained sone energy after 1st round of taxol.

But it didn't last.  I haven't had the week long nausea or bowel issues like with AC but still feel exhausted most of the time. I also have days of terrible aching joints and muscles... especially after a couple of light active days. Last week saw the return of the dreaded teariness over everything. I for some reason also became preoccupied with the possibility of metastases occuring. I think the aches and pains made me worry about bone mets then it all started from there. Fortunately it passed again and feeling much more positive again.

Weight gain once diagnosis, surgery and chemo has been a real issue. I worked hard to maintain reasonable body weight all my life but it always took diligence and work. Daily exercise, a really good diet and lots of incidental movement with my job. These days just showering and cooking tea is about it. I might manage a hydro pool workout 1 or 2 times a week and an outing to the supermarket but much else is too much. I find cooking anything complex challenging, both mentally and physically. My day time foods have ended up being toast or crackers and hard cheese or peanut butter. I've lost the taste for my regular go to foods.

Since starting weekly taxol and also needing higher steroid doses due to a reaction I've started gaining weight  even faster. Today I saw a dietitian who gave me some great fast food pantry options to improve nutrition and by eating better snack on less. The idea is not to lose...as they have told me NOT to lose weight. ..but I just want to not gain anymore. I've  always been a make my own lunch from scratch person and so I struggled when lost interest. I went shopping and have filled my shelves and freezer with great options.

I also have discovered I am getting trunkal oedema after chemo which causes my mild cording to get really tight to my wrist. It feels somedays like someone has tied a string around my chest... possibly the reconstruction is involved in this. It is much worse if inmobile. I found removing my bra and wearing a tight tank helped as well as going to the pool and just doing lots of upper arm movements to get flow going again. It made me quite miserable. But I seem to be on top of it now. Well until next cycle this week.

I have found the whole weekly chemo quite depressing...I feel my life is only about cancer treatment now. But....8 more cycles and the chemo part is done.  I can do this. Then its time to start living life again and looking toward recovery. I will still have another 9 months of hercepton but after weekly that should be easy.

It's a long road this treatment. But we are stronger than we ever knew.

Kath