Was just reading through ur post and can maybe help re hot flushes. I was placed surgerical into menopause by chemo in 2005 and then had my ovaries removed in 2006.
The hot flushes were appearing every two hours and would knock me off my feet for up to 5 minutes and leave me @ night having to change pj's and sometimes sheets after a "tropical moment"
I found a natural product called "Harmony" which has done amazing things. I have a flush maybe once very two days and they last for a minute or so. It has also helped with the emotional distress that happily holds "Mr Sweaty" hand.
There is also no plant estorgens in the product if this is important to u. Hope this helps