Bittersweet

Thanks ... Most days I am fine because I feel ok and while I feel like this I refuse to buy into the prognosis ... It's just those sorts of days that really get me down .. When I see this Xmas and maxxys next birthday I can think right I will see the next one and the next one .. It's just these first ones after being told I am terminal that is proving really hard ... I still hate cancer though :)

Thanks ... Most days I am fine because I feel ok and while I feel like this I refuse to buy into the prognosis ... It's just those sorts of days that really get me down .. When I see this Xmas and maxxys next birthday I can think right I will see the next one and the next one .. It's just these first ones after being told I am terminal that is proving really hard ... I still hate cancer though :)

I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis. There are several lovely ladies at the day oncology I go to who are "living well" with terminal and have surpassed all expectations. It's so hard not to have those thoughts but when you feel like that try to self talk that you are glad that you have this wonderful day with your grandson. No one knows how long they have on this earth and we all need to treat each day like our last regardless. My brother was 19 and perfectly healthy when he died from choking. Just one of those things that can happen. I hope you don't feel that I am being condescending, especially as I'm not in your situation. I just thought that I may be able to put a different perspective on things for you. How you are feeling is perfectly understandable and reasonable. I so hope that tomorrow is a better day for you. Karen xox

Yes it's just one of those days ... And unfortunately I have had a recurrence and know classed as terminal ... Though I am still not buying into that as yet ;)