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hb's avatar
hb
Member
15 years ago

Bald & brushed

I've changed my profile pic in solidarity with all the other baldies. I am a bit low about how I look at the moment -- not so much how I feel in myself (I think I look ok, even without the eyebrows and eyelashes that have fallen out since this pic was taken) but other people's reactions to me. For example last weekend I went to a family gathering and an aunt, who I haven't seen since starting treatment, didn't recognise me! She actually came up and said "I don't think I know your name, do I?" I laughed it off at the time, but when I got home I cried so hard ...

Then on Tuesday I went to a work thing, and just walking around my workplace lots of people who I know well walked straight past. It was so embarassing, cos each time I kind of stopped & smiled ready to chat, and felt totally brushed off.  I know they don't mean any harm, but f*%$k it hurts. I guess it's because they haven't seen me for a while, and don't recognise me because I don't look like the person they're familiar with.

My friends & partner don't understand why this has upset me so much, but I know others on the network will know exactly how I feel.  It's minor in the scheme of things, but I really felt the need for some acknowledgment.

Hope everyone's treatment & recovery is going well.

Heather

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  • hippyviv's avatar
    hippyviv
    Member
    15 years ago

    I soo agree Heather the bald look  IS cute on you. I really like it. I havnt gone thru chemo or the accompaning baldness but I do agree with what Tonya and Jo have said. Take care and keep on here for support. Hugs and good wishes Viv xx

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    15 years ago

    Being bald isn't minor- it's HUGE. You have the daily dilema of what to put on your head,the discomfort of what's on your head and your lost identity. I really struggled with the bald thing.I used to wear bandanas to work and people got used to it quite quickly.However,my hair growth or lack of,was a constant conversation in the staff room."how's your hair going"?"Gee it's taking ages to grow"PEOPLE-TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!.-it drove me nuts.When my hair finally came back it was dark and curly as opposed to blonde and straight. Even my own mother sometimes doesn't recognise me at first.If I haven't seen friends or family for awhile,then it's the first thing they comment on.Gee your hair looks different. So I totally understand how you feel.It's not meant in malice but it still kinda hurts.We just have to forgive and adapt to our new look.The bald look is cute on you- it looked terrible on me.

                                             Tonya xx

  • hb's avatar
    hb
    Member
    15 years ago

    thanks Jo! I should have said that at these places I was wearing a headscarf -- does that make it better or worse? haha. I went out to dinner w friends recently, got my partner to put a temporary tattoo on my bald head. Everyone shrieked w laughter when I whipped off the hat.  Your profile pic looks great, btw, you'd never know it's a wig. Go well x

  • joadavis's avatar
    joadavis
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Hb :)

    I feel your pain Im bald as well! but atleast you have the guts to walk around in your workplace as bald. Good for you! :) I feel I need my hat or my scarf or my wig to cover myself. ie; Profile pic- wig haha! I only walk around the house bald and even then I get called "monk" my family members. But even when im at the shops with these things on my head I feel like people are looking at me...part of our journey I suppose.....It wil only make us stronger.

    But I totally agree with you, an acknologment would help. But just think atleast we get to choose our hair now! through wigs etc and we get to save time in the morning! not like people with hair haha!

    I hope you will feel better as the week goes on :)

    take care

    jo xoxoxxo