Anyone awake? 2nd chemo today & I can’t sleep re anxiety

@kitkatb I hear you sista. I'm not having an easy time of it on this wretched drug but I'll be damned if I give up taking it. I know that my self talk (crazy negative at the best of times) would go ballistic if I had another cancer or a recurrence after I'd stopped taking it. Even though I have tiny amounts of breast tissue left, the gene mutation substantially raises my risk of developing a new breast cancer. I just HAVE to keep taking it. I am increasingly resigned to the next nine years being shit, but I'm rolling the dice and hoping that of the optimiscally 30 years of life I have left, 20 of them will be off Letrozole and substantially better. I'm writing off my fifties in the hope that my sixties & seventies will improve.

How did you go at the doctor's with your thumb & finger situation? I can feel my thumbs stiffening up and every now & then they feel like they want to stay bent. I'd really like not to add this to the list of side effects I have!

What bugs me is that trigger thumb is listed as a very rare side effect yet I know of so many people who've experienced this problem on the AIs. And my sample is tiny!

All whingeing aside, I'm so glad we have a drug that can make a substantial improvement to survival. But a gal can dream of not being fatigued, in pain, depressed, anxious, of not having dandruff, dry mouth, dry everything...

My weekend is OK so far thank you. Less pain today than the last few days. Went to a BC fundraiser lunch today and had a nice time. I've made two Italian pear cakes tonight in preparation for my father-in-law's 87th birthday lunch tomorrow. In the morning I'll make a couple of fish pies. And in the afternoon I'll collapse on the couch!

Take care of yourself, K xox

Funnily enough @Scaredycat it wasn't too horrendous. The NUM had asked me to tell her if I felt a reaction and was literally standing next to the bed watching me. I felt peculiar and my face started to feel hot. I opened my mouth to tell her at the same time as she saw my face going red. She stopped the infusion immediately, buttons were pushed and more nurses arrived. It was a bit dramatic but I felt very well cared for, plus I had Ativan on board for the cold cap so I was kind of removed from anxiety at that point.

It does sound like your docs are on top of things. You'll be right. K xox

Yep @kmakm that's exactly what happened to me.  I went fire engine red apparently then it was like someone released 1000 butterflies around my chest and I started to fit.  I can't speak highly enough of the chemo nurses there was about 3 of them there within seconds and a doctor not far behind. Luckily the counteraction drugs work really fast.  It is frightening when it happens but nothing the lovely ladies haven't seen before. From then on for the third and fourth chemo the nurses sat with me during the Dox infusion.
Hope you have a great weekend K.   Heading off to doc this morning with trigger thumb and looks like middle finger going out in sympathy as well. Bugger bugger just so don't want to go off  Femara. ( can't believe I said that ) have an idea they might suggest it with me just being 1% but my mind keeps saying its 10 out of a thousand.

Docextaxol sounds like a nightmare. That experience re the anaphylactic shock would have been horrendous kmakm. I can imagine your stress & anxiety when they retried with the slow infusion after it. 
I’m glad my oncologist is having concerns prior & is rethinking the drug & dosage well before I’m due for it. It’s reassuring to know that he is thinking about it way before it’s due.

@kitkatb I had an anaphylactic reaction so they pumped me full of drugs to counterract it and did a similarly slow infusion after that. Very common the NUM told me.

Agree about the Docetaxel  it is the one I was warned about and it was the one that gave me problems. They sorted it out in the end though by putting it through at quarter rate for 15 minutes, half strength for 15 minutes then full strength for the rest. It made a big difference.  

I'm glad you are able to discuss these things with your oncologist. Docetaxel is not easy in my experience. I had four doses of it.

Well, I survived today but m needle phobia is worse. I had trouble relaxing my arm. I also have a little reflex jump as the needle/cannula goes in but that was there before lol.
 I told my oncologist that I am concerned about the drug to be used in the last 3 sessions ( off hand I think it’s doxetaxol? The same one used for prostate cancer) after the FEC combo, given what happened after round one on FEC. He said that he now also has concerns regarding it & is rethinking the drug & dosage. I guess a lot will depend on my reactions if any to this round of FEC & th3 next one.

Hello @Scaredycat all the best with your treatment today.  Speak with your medical team and ask who to contact should you have any concerns post chemotherapy.  Kind regards

Hi @Scaredycat. I hope things are going smoothly today.

The only suggestion I have to manage your anxiety is to try to let go. Like so many things in life the only thing we can control is our reaction. Sometimes this works for me and sometimes it doesn't!

Your body is going to do what it's going to do, and it's up to the doctors and nurses to manage it. Sit back and let them do it. It's not in your control.

I heard an analogy I really liked yesterday. Your anxiety is a train. It pulls into the station requiring you to get on and go for that train ride. But you don't have to. You can sit on the platform and simply look at the train. Sit with the worries for a bit. Acknowledge that the train is here. And then send it on its way without boarding.

I get terribly anxious so I'm giving this one a try myself. Big hug, K xox