Hello Bel, i acatually had three attempts to reply yesterday but in the midst of my meltdown ,my computer dropped off too. Any way i wanted to thank you so very much, you pulled me out of a hole yesterday. I did send you a persoanl message but not sure if you received that either. You are so right in all that you said, especially the letting go of panic and fear. i go to bed feeling the fear and wake up in a panic, wondering about how mum got through the night. She was taken to emergengy yesterday with a high temp and being at home with my children and not being able to physically see her is so difficult, l spoke to her and she sounded ok but it is no the same as seeing she is ok. She is home now and ok but still with a high temp. Thank you once again fro being there exactly when l needed a cyber shoulder. cheers Nik