Hi Lillekat
I am so sorry to hear of all your confusion. It must be very frightening for you. You need to find one person such as your breast nurse, cancer council co-ordinator or someone in that type of position to sit down with you and to go through everything with you in a calm, quiet enviroment. There must be someone who can try and put this whole thing in perspective for you and to help you with all the anxiety this is causing you.
Cancer Council help line is there should you feel that you are not getting the support and help that you need.
I have found that my breast nurses will do anything that they can possibly do to make this whole horrible journey easier for you so use them if you need to.
I have been through my whole treatment process through the public system in Perth and I have not had any problems the whole way through.
There must be someone that you can use as a sounding block/mediator to make you feel that what you are doing is the correct thing for you.
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this anxiety and worry and I am hoping that someone can help you work through this so you feel happy with your decision.
I wish you well Lillekat
Mich xoxo