Am I in denial?

Forgot to tell you i had a SNB on the morning of my surgery. Not painful at all.

Take it one step at a time and you will get through it. 

Take comfort in knowing we have all been where you are now and come out the other side. 

Maryrose 

Hi Cavemouse

Welcome to the site but I'm sorry you have joined us. 

I was too busy when I was diagnosed. I was on annual leave so spent days cooking and filling my freezers. I spent my time helping others cope with their distress over my situation and making plans. That was until a check out chick upset me in Woolworths. I went to the 15 items or less lane with 22 items. There was no one else there and she tore strips off me and told me how unfair I was being to other shoppers. Well, I lost it. Lol once the tears started I couldn't stop them for hours. How could she talk to me about unfair? I had breast cancer! Talk about feel like a fool bawling my eyes out at the supermarket! 

I found my hospital appointments confronting in the early days because that's when everything became real. Plus it seemed like every time I went into the hospital, my treatment plan and circumstances seemed to change.  Once I got my head around what my treatments would be, I wore something silly in my hair (or on my bald head) for every treatment. My girlfriend also made yummy home made morning teas for the whole day oncology ward and once I was hooked up, we would wander the wards and talk to everyone and give them morning tea. We laughed lots and made lots of friends. There were some really dark days and some days where I was so damn ill but on a whole we tried to make the experience as fun as possible for us and those around us. A positive attitude will help you through. It sounds silly but it wasn't until after my 16 months of treatment that I realised just how ill I had been and how serious this really all was. 

We all do what ever we need to to get through and if laughing and being silly works for you then good on you I reckon. Good luck with it all. Karen xox

Hi cavemouse 

Sounds like a totally normal coping mechanism. But there may be a time when you do get overwhelmed, maybe not. Just be kind to yourself if you do. It won't last. I don't think it's denial because you're talking (in a breast cancer forum!) about it objectively. Maybe just being somewhat detached. Makes sense. 

Someone at work yesterday couldn't understand why I was making jokes about it and seemed uncomfortable. I don't think some people get it. One of my friends has brain cancer and he's often making jokes, but he is also very anxious and that's how he copes best and he knows it.

The radioactive injection didn't hurt, just a tiny sting.

All the best for your surgery! Look forward to hearing how you're going :)

Yes, I was the same. I was diagnosed with grade 3 tumour and lymph node involvement and I honestly thought, OK, yes, this is what it is, let's just get on with the treatment and get rid of it. When I had to tell everybody I told them that I was fine and was dealing with it and they should feel positive like I did. Not everyone coped as well as me. My sister in law was devastated and couldn't understand how I was taking it so well. I was holding everyone else up!! So far I have got through the dreaded chemo and last week had my mastectomy and in the new year will have my radiation. No, it's not been easy, I've been hospitalised 5 times with neutropenia, chemo has affected my lungs, but I still have that positive outlook. You do what you you think is best and everybody else will have to follow. Good luck with all your treatment.

linda xx

Good advice Christine, thank you for that.  I need to let everyone feel what they're going to feel.  I shouldn't be trying to stop them worrying coz they're going to anyway I guess.   What a journey!  And I've only just started it. Lol xxx

Nadi, I hope your chemo is good to you and you don't have too much discomfort.  Ill remember the pumping hands and counting to 30 if I need a distraction.   

All the best Nadi and I'll be thinking of you too on  Wednesday.   Xxx

Haha Athena, I'll be looking forward to relaxing with X-ray.   And, if it's not as bad as core biopsy or punch biopsy then I'll be laughing. Lol.  Thank you xxx

Thanks Doll, it has settled my mind to hear of your good experience.  I guess pain tolerance is different for each of us ??xx

Maryrose,

lit is hard for some friends to understand isn't it.   Some don't understand why I'm not crying all the time.. I've been telling them that maybe down the line I will be but I'm just taking it 1 day at a time.   No need to worry until there's something to worry about xxx

Thank you all so very much.   It's so good to hear from others who are going through the same thing and understand. There's nothing like it. 

I feel so much better about the injections now and will take your advice.  I understand that my family and friends will want to help in some ways and I certainly will be thinking of ways to let them do that.

Gosh it's such a different journey and not at all like " getting your appendix out".  Lol.  

Thank you all again   Audrey xxxxx