Am I in denial?

Sorry you have to go through this. Everyone is different and reacts in different ways. I switched back and forth from being scared and panicky to being resigned and calm, but some members of my family (especially my mum) took it much harder than I did. I start chemo the day you have your surgery and I am much calmer and ok with it than I was with my surgery. 

Friends also ask me is there anything they can do to help. I am a do-it-myself kinda girl. I don't really need any help, I just have to get through it. But I know it makes my friends feel better if they can feel they are helping, so I am mindful to include them in some way. e.g. getting one of them to sew me some buffs for when I lose my hair etc.

For me the SNB was very painful but I got through it. Not everyone finds it painful - most people I speak to say their SNB didn't hurt so I think I must have been unlucky. It helped me to count to 30. The pain only lasts a very short time so counting helped me to know when it would start to recede. I also pumped my hands and took deep breathes which seemed to help. Once its over you soon forget about it.

All the best for the 16th! I'll be thinking of you. Keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

Nadine