Thanks for your encouraging words @lrb_03 I think it might be docotaxel, hercetin and perjeta that they will be planning for me, which does seem like a more suitable approach to my particular cancer. I have done a bit of reading and wondered why they started with the AC, but this does seem to be a standard approach (to save the herceptin for later when the cancer is reduced a bit).
I will remain hopeful that this new line of treatment will work for me in helping me to have a pCR or at least for it to be reduced enough to become operable and to clear it from the nodes. Your friend's experience does give me some hope.
Earlier in the day I saw my counsellor and she was commending me on my strength but also suggesting that I might be doing a bit much thinking and maybe I needed to connect with my feelings a bit more. I think in light of the crying tonight she was totally right. I must have been burying my fear and my worry. It has been good to cry. Stoic schmoic.
On a brighter note I have quit smoking a month ago (right before chemo) and it is so great to wake up and not be immediately driven to an unhealthy behaviour by a raging addiction. I have also been eating well every day, big salads and lots of vegetables of all kinds and a bit of fish. I have also been raising lots of little seedlings from seeds and getting so many yummy things into the ground and in pots, and plucking radishes and strawberries growing on my roof garden. It has been a great distraction. A friend is coming to chemo tomorrow and we will play scrabble all day (my other raging addiction!) so hopefully tomorrow will be a better day all round. But if I need to cry, I will. Thanks again to everybody in this forum who has made my journey a bit easier and made me feel that there is care around from people who have been through similar experiences.
