Hi @kabash
Welcome to the forum lovely. There is always so much warnth and information on here not matter what time of day or night. We all know how you are feeling at the moment. The rollercoaster of emotions, the trying to change all the things you consider your bad habits because you think it's your lifestyle that caused it.
I was 45 at diagnosis. My kids were older though,(5 of them between 17 and 21). I was told 3 days before my twin daughters 18th birthday. Not the best present.
I already knew it had spread as it was found in my lymph nodes. Stage 2III, grade 2 they debated over where to put it on the scale due to the nodes, however the breast tumour turned out to be smaller than tthe cut off point, so it stayed at stage 2III . After the initial pathology, and once they worked out a treatment plan it's never been mentioned again.
Waiting for that staging result was one of the scariest days of my life. I really didn't even want to ring the doctor and find out. I made my husband do it.
Good luck with the ciggies, I failed miserably (actually I didn't even try) and smoked more than I ever had the whole way through. I discussed that with my BCN and she said I probably had enough to deal with at that point. There is also a common misconception that sugar feeds cancer. It doesn't. I figure if you want chocolate you should have it. Especially if it's the only thing that tastes good through chemo right? :)
Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up over these things. This whole thing is mentally draining enough without adding in a guilt trip.
Fingers and toes crossed for your results lovely.
Hugs
xoxoxoxoxo
