a shock

Hi Annette, you will feel somewhat better after your appointment as you then have a plan. It would be good to have a support person with you as it is hard to take it all in. It's  also good to write down things you would like to know at this stage.

I told one or two work colleagues but asked my boss to tell the team. ..as I too didn't  want to deal with their emotions. My own family was bad enough.

I set up a cancer journey private group on fb and invited closer friends and famy to it...I've included photos etc not visible on the main site. If course my general fb shows no hair and breast cancer articles. ..just not the nitty gritties of the journey. It's also a good way to look back on your journey.... just like a diary. Goodluck with your journey. Kath x

Hi Annette, I can understand your feelings very much Annette. Very difficult to hear those words. I do think we go into denial as a way of giving us time to digest the C word. No one is prepared for that.

I am Her2 positive. Stage 3 IDC and grade 3. At first I didn't want anyone to know except family as I didn't want questions etc. I was flat out believing it myself.

After my double mastectomy I found it easier, however I never publishized it. I told my close friends and being regional, word got around.

Chemo was very scary for me and no two people are the same with side effects. Thank heavens for the wonderful chemo nurses. 

You will have good and bad days. Roll with it and listen to your body. 

I cant believe I am nearly at the end of my treatment.

My diagnosis was dec3 2015.  Where I'm at now seemed a life time away. But here it is. 

You will get there too. Day at a time. Hugs Airlie ?? ?? 

Hi Annette,

I too had no breast cancer in the family - nothing like being a trail blazer!!

As for telling people -  there is nothing wrong with you choosing who you tell and who you don't! I told various people at work and I think that the way I told them dictated to them how I wanted them to react to me. I am not a serious person and told them that I was looking forward to having two perky boobs and a flat stomach (from fat transfer). The reaction I have received has not held pity but humour and the ability to talk about things should I feel the need to. The offers of help have been interspersed with hilarious jokes but full of caring and I cannot believe the positive support I have been offered. All very overwhelming and beautiful.

Seeing your surgeon will actually help you as there is nothing like having an action plan and time frame to give you something to focus on and aim towards.

This forum is a font of knowledge and experience and no nonsense advice - absolutely fantastic and so very comforting. Any questions you have there are ladies here who have been there, done that and are more than happy to assist  and offer advice that is truly beneficial.

Wishing you all the best in the next step of your journey. Take care. Xx Cath

No breast cancer in my family either. For a while I was very angry as to why I had to be the special one. Initially only very close family was told but my husband told the neighbours as I think he needed some support that wasn't my side of the family and his family live a long distance.

Once I had the surgeries I was  a bit more confidant in telling others and even did day by day updates on my face book on my chemo treatment. Out of the wood work came others who's mothers had had bc before so they had a bit of an insight of what mum went thru via my side effects and outlook on it all.

It did also make a lot of my girl friends get their butts in and have a mammogram, something some of them had been putting off a long time. Fortunately no one had anything to report so it was just me with the bc.

Hi Annette, it is very confronting being told you have cancer. I had her2+ grade 3 idc also. I was hormone negative. I had 6 months chemo, 33 radiotherapy sessions and 12 months herceptin.  Its a hard slog but you will get through it. 

I struggled telling people because I wasn't coping with their reactions. I asked my boss to tell my work colleagues and I also put a post on Facebook. That way I was able to keep people informed without having to go over the same thing over and over again and without having to deal with their emotions. It's not for everyone but it worked for me. Do what's right for you. Take one day at a time. All the very best for your treatment. Karen xox

Hi Annette, 

It is a shock especially with no family history just take one appointment at a time and as I have been told numerous times lol dont look (well try not to )  at Dr google (easier said than done I know ) 

Chemo side effects are all different as the chemo regime is set different for the individual, your age and your type of BC, will come into play after surgery when you see the oncologist. the chemo nurses are fantastic and will help you every step of the way, if you need chemo that is :)  

Have you ordered your my journey kit yet?? in there there are cards that you can fill out and hand to people that explains as much info as you want to tell them.

Keep asking questions,venting what ever you need on here, the ladies in here are fantastic they have either been there and done that or going through it, they are a wealth of information :)

BIG cyber ((hugs)) for you

Cheers Sue xx 

Hi Annette

it's such a shock, you never think it will happen to you. No cancer in my family, breast or any other.

From nearly 4 years on, it's a remarkable thing. No-one would choose to do it, but it's not all grim. Chemo is not fun, but reactions vary - I was never sick or fatigued, and worked right through. How you react is hard to tell till you start. Energy is important, conserve it any way you can - I found work energised me and distracted me from cancer, others find it too much of a drain. No matter how unpleasant the treatment, remember it will end. Every week is closer to your goal.

Lots of people can help, so take a deep breath and let them. You can set the tone of how they react, you want positive stories, support not other people's war stories!

best of luck, you'll get there.