Hello Katrina,
I can relate to your comment of 'it is all surreal' i think that a lot. Seems you are well in tune with your intuition. (Your gut instinct as you said.) This is what has helped me thru this breast cancer journey. Listening to my intuition on what foods to eat - when to rest, using music to help me relax.
You have come thru so much, I cannot begin to imagine your heartache. But you have come thru it.
We are many pink ladies here to share emotions on our journey of breast cancer.
All the very best.
Maria333