Hi @MissPolly welcome :)
I too had ILC and a mastectomy and Grade 2 axillary clearance in February of this year. I had no immediate reconstruction
If you're having a single sided mastectomy you'll probably have 2 drains; one where your original breast was and another under the armpit. Depending on what recon you're having, you may have more drains.
The type of recon will also determine your recovery so I'll answer what I can..
Drains stay in for 7-10 days usually, it varies for everyone and how much fluid is coming out. Community nurses/the rural hospital I would imagine will be arranged to take your drains out...unless you're spending the acute 1-2 weeks post surgery in the nearest regional centre??
Whilst the drain is in you can't lift your arm up above your head, so you need help from that perspective. The physio will want you beginning the exercises from day one post surgery to prevent lymphodema; it takes some time (5-6 weeks) to get the arm pretty close to 100% functioning..some women it takes much longer though and unfortunately suffer long term restrictions. Mine doesn't impair me doing anything except sometimes Ill ask hubby to reach something because my under arm area feels much tighter that day and I can't stretch my arm fully. I can do weights/push arms etc all fine now.
You'll be advised to not drive with drains in..for insurance purposes I wouldn't recommend it, but how practical that is with kids in a rural area I can't comment on. The surgeon told me once I could fully hold my arm out to the steering wheel and turn it properly I could drive.
Hopefully someone who had the same type as recon as you will be able to help with that side of recovery.