My surgeon referred me to an oncologist. As it turned out it was an excellent referral but you can choose or seek a second opinion if you don’t feel the oncologist is right for you. Give him/her time, they may have news that you find challenging which isn’t an ideal
start but ultimately you are going to be with your oncologist for a while and it’s important you see eye to eye on major issues. As I said, my referral was great and many are.
I had surgery before chemo. If a particular cancer may respond well to chemo, it may be used first in order to reduce the degree of surgery. In my case it was important to remove the cancer as soon as possible. There are many kinds of breast cancer and treatments vary. So it’s more likely than not that you won’t have the same treatment as someone else with breast cancer. Also
likely you may not react the same way to a particular treatment.
It’s all a bit of an exercise in taking one step at a time, asking questions (this website is a good place to do so) and having trust in your medical team. Things will get clearer, once you have a clear diagnosis and a treatment plan. Deep breaths, it’s a whole new ball game but like so many before you, you can discover reserves of strength and yes, humour, you never knew you had. And recover. Best wishes.