Wow, your description of your feelings was exactly how I felt when I was diagnosed in 2002, especially the bit about it feeling like a bad dream. Everything felt so scary and overwhelming! At 34, everyone else having treatment seemed so much older than me; this wasn't how I had planned to spend my mid thirties! When I got a new cancer this year (nearly 10 years on), it wasn't so scary this time around. I was familiar with all the treatments and already knew all my medical team! I also realized that my first cancer had not returned or spread, so there was every reason to believe that this new one wouldn't either. My advice is to take one day at a time, trust in your medical team and stay positive. I still don't like to think of myself as a 'cancer patient'. It seems too weird!! Just laugh a lot and enjoy the things that make you happy! Love Jane xxx