It sounds pretty normal to me. My husband couldn't talk to me about his fears but he talked to his sister and cried then. Never with me. He felt he needed to be strong.
I cried a lot but planned and powered along. Many people thinking I was fine but I spent many many nights awake in fear for not just myself but my family and what might happen if I didn't make it. Once treatment in full force you start just in survival mode, getting through each treatment. I couldn't plan a future or even a holiday for fear of jinxing myself.
Once completed treatment you dare to imagine life with yourself still part of it and eventually start to embrace life again. Forever changed. Kath x