I appreciate the advice u are giving me. I have thought about that alot and my down side is what is my family and friends going to think of me are they going to look at me different are they going to treat me different and I about what is my family going to do when I'm not here. I say to myself that I am going to bet this I know that I might have to have treatment after my surgery all my friends have said to me that If I need anything to let them know but I am that sort of person that likes to do things on my own I never ask for help I am always helping them. Sorry if this don't make sense I'm new to this and I never talk to anyone I always do it on my own. I am worried about my husband as well he won't talk about it I know he is worried about me I wish he would open up to me but he wont