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and new","id":"message:74924","revisionNum":1,"repliesCount":8,"author":{"__ref":"User:user:4818"},"depth":0,"hasGivenKudo":false,"board":{"__ref":"Forum:board:general-newly-diagnosed"},"conversation":{"__ref":"Conversation:conversation:74924"},"readOnly":false,"editFrozen":false,"moderationData":{"__ref":"ModerationData:moderation_data:74924"},"body@stripHtml({\"truncateLength\":200})":"Hi all. Im a 53 year old single mother of 2 adult children with an elderly mother who has been battling lung liver and bone cancer for the last 7 years. She lives an hour away from me with my awesome ...","body@stringLength":"2583","rawBody":"Hi all. Im a 53 year old single mother of 2 adult children with an elderly mother who has been battling lung liver and bone cancer for the last 7 years. She lives an hour away from me with my awesome step father whom also is being treated for prostrate cancer. I was diagnosed as having grade 2 invasive ductal cancer 2 weeks ago and am having surgery in 2 days. Needless to say its already been a turbulent roller-coaster and I am reeling inside. I have no idea what type of cancer (I read a lot of estrogen positive, triple neg etc type of described diagnosis but haven't been told anything like that as yet) but I believe its been caught early. I have been having regular mammograms for 7 years due to having found a cyst and I had a mammogram in March and was given the all clear. About 3 months later I lost weight and noticed the lump felt a bit different but put it down to my weight loss and bein able to feel more of it. Then about 2 months later my half brother died of cancer. It was throughout his whole body and in his brain. He lasted 4 weeks from diagnosis to death. That prompted me to get another check in late September. I was told on October 1st that the lump was now cancer. What I wasn't prepared for is how instantly life changed. Some good but a lot bad. Its in my head most of it Im sure but its happening none the less. My friends seem distant. People I would thought would be there are making me feel so alone. Promises of visits then excuses why they cant visit. I live an hours drive from my 'best' friend and used to regularly drive to see her. Now the drive is way to far for her although she drives just the same distance to see other people. Its just hurtful and a hard thing to face and accept along with the breast cancer diagnosis and up coming surgery/treatment. However there had been good things happen. I am discovering there are wonderful people in supports online and in person. I quit smoking without one bad craving and I am now even more determined to get through this new phase of my life and come out the other side stronger and healthier. I don't know what the future holds but Im aiming for the positive. Ive just got to get through this upcoming surgery first. One thing at a time. I cant think too much about whats next because gets a little to heavy and scary. Just keep swimming is my new mantra. My friends will either be there or not. Their choice. I am still me...I think they've forgotten that. Maybe? Time will tell. I wonder who else has had their long term friendships change.","kudosSumWeight":0,"postTime":"2024-10-19T15:51:57.000-07:00","images":{"__typename":"AssociatedImageConnection","edges":[],"totalCount":0,"pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null}},"attachments":{"__typename":"AttachmentConnection","pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null},"edges":[]},"tags":{"__typename":"TagConnection","pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null},"edges":[]},"timeToRead":2,"currentRevision":{"__ref":"Revision:revision:74924_1"},"latestVersion":null,"metrics":{"__typename":"MessageMetrics","views":214},"visibilityScope":"PUBLIC","canonicalUrl":null,"seoTitle":null,"seoDescription":null,"isEscalated":null,"placeholder":false,"originalMessageForPlaceholder":null,"messagePolicies":{"__typename":"MessagePolicies","canModerateSpamMessage":{"__typename":"PolicyResult","failureReason":{"__typename":"FailureReason","message":"error.lithium.policies.feature.moderation_spam.action.moderate_entity.allowed.accessDenied","key":"error.lithium.policies.feature.moderation_spam.action.moderate_entity.allowed.accessDenied","args":[]}}},"archivalData":null,"body":"Hi all. Im a 53 year old single mother of 2 adult children with an elderly mother who has been battling lung liver and bone cancer for the last 7 years. She lives an hour away from me with my awesome step father whom also is being treated for prostrate cancer. I was diagnosed as having grade 2 invasive ductal cancer 2 weeks ago and am having surgery in 2 days. Needless to say its already been a turbulent roller-coaster and I am reeling inside. I have no idea what type of cancer (I read a lot of estrogen positive, triple neg etc type of described diagnosis but haven't been told anything like that as yet) but I believe its been caught early. I have been having regular mammograms for 7 years due to having found a cyst and I had a mammogram in March and was given the all clear. About 3 months later I lost weight and noticed the lump felt a bit different but put it down to my weight loss and bein able to feel more of it. Then about 2 months later my half brother died of cancer. It was throughout his whole body and in his brain. He lasted 4 weeks from diagnosis to death. That prompted me to get another check in late September. I was told on October 1st that the lump was now cancer. What I wasn't prepared for is how instantly life changed. Some good but a lot bad. Its in my head most of it Im sure but its happening none the less. My friends seem distant. People I would thought would be there are making me feel so alone. Promises of visits then excuses why they cant visit. I live an hours drive from my 'best' friend and used to regularly drive to see her. Now the drive is way to far for her although she drives just the same distance to see other people. Its just hurtful and a hard thing to face and accept along with the breast cancer diagnosis and up coming surgery/treatment. However there had been good things happen. I am discovering there are wonderful people in supports online and in person. I quit smoking without one bad craving and I am now even more determined to get through this new phase of my life and come out the other side stronger and healthier. I don't know what the future holds but Im aiming for the positive. Ive just got to get through this upcoming surgery first. One thing at a time. I cant think too much about whats next because gets a little to heavy and scary. Just keep swimming is my new mantra. My friends will either be there or not. Their choice. I am still me...I think they've forgotten that. Maybe? Time will tell. I wonder who else has had their long term friendships change.","customFields":[]},"Conversation:conversation:74924":{"__typename":"Conversation","id":"conversation:74924","solved":false,"topic":{"__ref":"ForumTopicMessage:message:74924"},"lastPostingActivityTime":"2024-10-21T12:12:57.000-07:00","lastPostTime":"2024-10-21T12:12:57.000-07:00","unreadReplyCount":8,"isSubscribed":false},"ModerationData:moderation_data:74924":{"__typename":"ModerationData","id":"moderation_data:74924","status":"APPROVED","rejectReason":null,"isReportedAbuse":false,"rejectUser":null,"rejectTime":null,"rejectActorType":null},"Revision:revision:74924_1":{"__typename":"Revision","id":"revision:74924_1","lastEditTime":"2024-10-19T15:51:57.000-07:00"},"ForumReplyMessage:message:74926":{"__typename":"ForumReplyMessage","id":"message:74926","conversation":{"__ref":"Conversation:conversation:74924"},"author":{"__ref":"User:user:20667"},"revisionNum":1,"uid":74926,"depth":1,"hasGivenKudo":false,"subscribed":false,"board":{"__ref":"Forum:board:general-newly-diagnosed"},"subject":"Re: Nervous and new","readOnly":false,"editFrozen":false,"moderationData":{"__ref":"ModerationData:moderation_data:74926"},"parent":{"__ref":"ForumTopicMessage:message:74924"},"body":"Hi @@kimw71 - so sorry to see you join our group here but we'll do our best to help support you specially thru these early days xx
Sadly, some friends (and even family) don't know how to react or what to say when they learn of your diagnosis & so say nothing - and it hurts. Try not to take it personally - most of us have experienced it :( You may be surprised who WILL step up to the plate & be your main support. Many of us on the forum have forged really positive friendships here, as we've all 'been there, done that' so really DO know what you're going thru.
I hope your kids live nearby so that they can support you, as after your surgery you will have to take it easy for a while - no lifting (so you can't vacuum, do the washing or hang it our, or the lawn-mowing .....) Do you live alone? I stayed with my brother & his wife after my own surgery until after I saw the surgeon for the first checkup & could drive home (4hrs driving.)
Also, consider listening to Charlotte Tottman's podcasts on 'What you don't know until you do' .... she is a specialist breast cancer counsellor who was diagnosed 5 years ago & had a double mastectomy and chose to remain 'flat'. She was surprised that her reactions & emotions were totally different to what she'd been espousing to her clients over the years prior to her diagnosis .... Each episode is very easy to listen to & will cover a lot of the emotions that you are feeling now - anger, sadness, denial .... they are all common reactions to the diagnosis xx http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.html
Take lots of deep breaths, try not to get ahead of yourself & ponder the 'what ifs' ..... just deal with what you have to right now - your medical team will be doing what is needed for the best results for you xx So put your trust in them xx If you would like to chat with someone - you can ring our helpline on 1800 500 258 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm.)
take care & all the best for your upcoming surgery xx","body@stringLength":"2843","rawBody":"Hi @@kimw71 - so sorry to see you join our group here but we'll do our best to help support you specially thru these early days xx
Sadly, some friends (and even family) don't know how to react or what to say when they learn of your diagnosis & so say nothing - and it hurts. Try not to take it personally - most of us have experienced it :( You may be surprised who WILL step up to the plate & be your main support. Many of us on the forum have forged really positive friendships here, as we've all 'been there, done that' so really DO know what you're going thru.
I hope your kids live nearby so that they can support you, as after your surgery you will have to take it easy for a while - no lifting (so you can't vacuum, do the washing or hang it our, or the lawn-mowing .....) Do you live alone? I stayed with my brother & his wife after my own surgery until after I saw the surgeon for the first checkup & could drive home (4hrs driving.)
Also, consider listening to Charlotte Tottman's podcasts on 'What you don't know until you do' .... she is a specialist breast cancer counsellor who was diagnosed 5 years ago & had a double mastectomy and chose to remain 'flat'. She was surprised that her reactions & emotions were totally different to what she'd been espousing to her clients over the years prior to her diagnosis .... Each episode is very easy to listen to & will cover a lot of the emotions that you are feeling now - anger, sadness, denial .... they are all common reactions to the diagnosis xx http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.html
Take lots of deep breaths, try not to get ahead of yourself & ponder the 'what ifs' ..... just deal with what you have to right now - your medical team will be doing what is needed for the best results for you xx So put your trust in them xx If you would like to chat with someone - you can ring our helpline on 1800 500 258 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm.)
take care & all the best for your upcoming surgery xx","kudosSumWeight":1,"repliesCount":0,"postTime":"2024-10-19T18:29:02.000-07:00","images":{"__typename":"AssociatedImageConnection","edges":[],"totalCount":0,"pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null}},"attachments":{"__typename":"AttachmentConnection","pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null},"edges":[]},"timeToRead":2,"currentRevision":{"__ref":"Revision:revision:74926_1"},"latestVersion":null,"metrics":{"__typename":"MessageMetrics","views":0},"visibilityScope":"PUBLIC","isEscalated":null,"placeholder":false,"originalMessageForPlaceholder":null,"messagePolicies":{"__typename":"MessagePolicies","canModerateSpamMessage":{"__typename":"PolicyResult","failureReason":{"__typename":"FailureReason","message":"error.lithium.policies.feature.moderation_spam.action.moderate_entity.allowed.accessDenied","key":"error.lithium.policies.feature.moderation_spam.action.moderate_entity.allowed.accessDenied","args":[]}}},"customFields":[],"replies":{"__typename":"MessageConnection","edges":[],"pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null}}},"CachedAsset:theme:customTheme1-1743643394041":{"__typename":"CachedAsset","id":"theme:customTheme1-1743643394041","value":{"id":"customTheme1","animation":{"fast":"150ms","normal":"250ms","slow":"500ms","slowest":"750ms","function":"cubic-bezier(0.07, 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Need your support and experience please","conversation":{"__ref":"Conversation:conversation:80153"},"id":"message:80153","revisionNum":1,"uid":80153,"depth":0,"board":{"__ref":"Forum:board:general-newly-diagnosed"},"author":{"__ref":"User:user:5763"},"metrics":{"__typename":"MessageMetrics","views":242},"postTime":"2025-03-16T17:38:00.000-07:00","lastPublishTime":"2025-03-16T17:38:00.000-07:00","body@stripHtml({\"removeProcessingText\":true,\"removeSpoilerMarkup\":true,\"removeTocMarkup\":true,\"truncateLength\":200})":" Hi All, I was diagnosed with right breast cancer in January 2025 and am preparing for surgery at Peter Mac. 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