@Sazbe If you haven't already, you might like to read Liz O'Riordan's blog. She's an English breast surgeon who got breast cancer and she talks a fair bit about the tension of being a patient and a doctor.
http://liz.oriordan.co.ukYou've come to the right place for support. I wish I'd never met this mob but boy am I glad I did! This place is extraordinary, for caring, concern, knowledge and support. I hope you find it as helpful as I have.
Sounds like you had a very tough day indeed. I remember well how I had to pretend I was functioning normally in those early days. It was almost like an out of body experience. Well done on getting through today.
Once you get your treatment plan it gets easier. And of course with the passing of time the shock wears off a bit. I must say though, it's 14 months since my diagnosis and I still sometimes feel like it's a dream I'm going to wake from.
Forgive me if I'm teaching my grandmother to suck eggs, but quite often the details of your diagnosis can change once your tumour is out, if surgery is first up for you. And that can change your treatment plan. Just a wee heads up.
No worries about the length of your post! We have some veritable theses here. You unload as much as you need to. We've got you. K xox