My timeline

I know what you mean... I had my surgery on the 31st and even though I kept on saying that knowing my luck it would be Chemo and radiation when I told that would be the case I still kind of felt like it was not real... Still doesn't and I am 2 weeks away from my 1st chemo treatment.

I know it will happen and I know it will knock me about and I am talking to others about it but somehow subconsciously it feels like I am watching a movie of someone going through this all..

I talk about my cancer and forthcomming treatment in a cool and rational manner and everyone at work is commenting how I am taking this whole thing so well but what nobody is realising is that in some weird way I have disassociated myself from it all...

I made a decision to stop working while undergoing chemo (as I pick up colds and flu too easily as is and being allergic to most antibiotics means I am sick for months so best to stay away from work and people who bring viruses to work) so until I actually stop going to work (in a week and a half) I reckon it will continue to be this weird experience of living something that is not being trully 'real' for me...