Hi ladies. My name is tracey im 56 . Sad angry and petrified. Was diagnosed 6th feb. The big C word hit me like a tonne v bricks. However, being the tough bird that i am i made sure that i kept my stiff upper lip for the world. Family included. Unfortunately my sister has just been disgnosed with bowel cancer a fortnight before. Mum got bladder cancer last yearbut clear now. We were always the faily everyone else thought was so lucky. We never had any illness or accidents. No all this at once.I cannot believe it. I know im supposed to be relaxed and calm my mind and meditate etc but icannot shut down. Either dwelling on my lot or my sisters'. Cant sleep, not fussed about food. Constantly exhausted, still working. A glass or three of wine at night helps, but not good to do. Just want to get something done. 7th march is my apntmnt with surgeon then surgery they say about a week later. Bring it on.

Hi @Me2 Just want to welcome you to the group, none of us would want to belong to and encourage you. You have a right to be angry and sad and petrified, we are here to help you navigate your way through this horrible diagnosis. Feel free to Rant we understand and get it. Tracey you are allowed to get a Mental Health plan from your GP when you have a diagnosis of cancer and go to see a psychologist I highly recommend doing that you have such a lot that has hit your family in one go... https://www.psychology.org.au/FindaPsychologist/Default.aspxOnce you have seen your surgeon you will feel a bit more in control. Do you have a Breast Care Nurse? http://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspxhave you got the My Journey Kit? https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/You sure have had a lot to cope with in a short space of time.... HUGS and energy to deal with it. Soldier Crab aka Alice xoxox

Hi! Once you've had the visit with the surgeon where you know what type of surgery is best for you the mush will become a little clearer. Yes it is a so and so and Alice has given you some links to help navigate some information. It is perfectly normal to feel lost, confused, off your food, not sleeping much! All those things but it will change!Take care

Hi TraceyNow is not the time to be worried that you don't have a calm mind--that would be so unusual it would be creepy! It's normal to be red lining. Our bodies are weird things, all that adrenaline roaring around in the beginning is a very natural response to a very threatening situation. Acceptance of your diagnosis takes some effort and some of us struggle, personally I'm rubbish at it. Your family issues on top of your own are a huge load but we are stronger than we realize. Once you start treatment you will have something else to focus on and that feeling of pointlessly treading water abates a bit.it's bad news for both you and your sister but you'll start to figure out how the system works (knowledge most of us would be probably prefer to be ignorant of) which will eventually make the whole mess a little less confusing. You will have time to concentrate on your relaxation techniques later.Best of luck.Marg

@Me2 thing Ive come to learn is, expect the unexpected. You would be numb right now and rightfully so, its overwhelming and its frightening where you are, with no answers and no direction. So bring on March 7 to begin only then will things feel like they are moving and you are closer to knowing what you have and what treatment is required. Its normal to be all over the place and you have others to worry about. Definitely keep talking here, between us all we have a wealth of knowledge and experience and above all else endless support and hugs! You are not alone even when it feels you are we get it. So all I can say is where you are right now is super tough....so distract and occupy as best you can as its out of your hands. I found doing little things for myself alone that helped me feel centred and peaceful somehow amongst the chaos worked. As simple as sipping my green tea in the sunshine on a mild day or a walk in nature, whatever that thing is that brings this feeling of peace in that moment where you just BE and not focus on anything outside of that moment. Big Hugs, Alice is right, talking to someone can help at some point too and you do get 6 free consults under a Mental Health Plan..I always found my Breast Care Nurse was wonderful and there to listen I only ever rang twice but oh boy was a meltdown! LOL Theres certainly plenty of support. So deep breath! Melinda xo

Hello Tracey, so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. It is completely overwhelming, mind shattering, frightening and unbelievable at first. We understand, we have been there. These early days are so difficult. I know it seems hard to believe but you will start to feel better and more in control when you see your surgeon and get a plan in place. There is so much to take in at first and things start to move so quickly. It really helped me to use a note book to write down all the questions I thought of between appointments. There are no stupid questions! It can be information overload with the specialists and I always seemed to forget to ask something. Plus it was a good feeling to cross my questions off! There are so many strong and supportive women on this site. It is a safe place to be yourself - you don't need to put up a front or be strong. Share how you feel, ask questions. You will amaze yourself with how strong you can be and remember, you are not alone. We are all here for you. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. Sending you a huge hug, Jane xx

My brain is mush. | BCNA Online Network

22 Replies

Karenhappyquilt
Member
9 years ago
It's terrible but there are some positives:

You are in good hands, we have a great medical system,
breast cancer has a much better survival rate than many other cancers,
there is support in the community like this site,
in time the treatment ends.

bets wishes, Karen
Brenda5
Member
9 years ago
Good they are pushing those tests through before the surgery. It's called 'staging' and once they have the full pathology report back after the surgery they will all get their heads together and plan a treatment and time line thereafter. Make sure you ask for pain meds (proper ones, not just Panadol) before you go home from hospital. I had just Panadol after my first op, mastectomy and one node removed and it was flipping painful once I got home and the hospital meds wore off. My sis in law once said of the hospital system if you don't ask you won't get so after my second op, to remove all the rest of the lymph nodes since the first nodes pathology was positive I made sure I asked for pain meds to take home. Sooooo much easier. <3
Me2
Member
9 years ago
Hi CateH, thank you so much for your kind, sensible words. Seems like you are just a few steps in front of me. Ive made my appointments for CT scan, Bone Scan and BC Nurse for tomorrow in Bega, which is about one hour away from my home. I'm in Eden. We definitely have a few common threads. I'm originally from Sydney but moved down the south coast. All my family are still up in Sydney. My sister is having her bowel cancer surgery as I'm typing this., up in Sydney so we are all playing phone tag. I'm glad I have today at home before my tests role on to grasp everything that's happening with my Sister. I was told by the Surgeon last night that my breast mass is "particularly nasty", which scared the hell out of me and that mastectomy was the only way. then at least 4 to 6 months of chemo . All my fears flooded over me at once. I've had the day to do some reading and collect my thoughts and catch up with friends and family so I'm a little calmer now. Tomorrow the drama begins. I'm so grateful to have this forum to bounce off. Again many thanks
CateH
Member
9 years ago
Hi Me2, I was diagnosed mid January and that period of time waiting to see the surgeon then after surgery waiting for pathology results were the worst. Once that was all done and I knew what I was in for, chemo followed by radiation then hormone blockers, I started to feel better as now even though the chemo really knocks me around there is a plan in place and I'm doing something not just waiting and worrying.

I took a friend to my appointments with the surgeon and oncologists which I would recommend as there is so much to take in and it can be quite over-whelming.

My anaesthetist gave me some advice which I thought was great. He said, "people will tell you to be positive, but you don't have to be all the time, if you want to cry, cry, if you want to swear or yell, or feel sorry for yourself do so as that is all part of the process and you need to let those emotions out rather than try to contain them as it won't do you or those you care about any good". As someone who has previously suffered from depression I thought this was great advice as putting on a brave face all the time and pretending you are okay when you are not can cause a lot of damage.

Lean on family and friends that love you, use this forum and your health care team for support and take care of you.

All of my family live far away, all but one son live overseas, and having moved to country NSW only 18 months ago most of my friends do as well and yet I feel that having BC is making the bond between us all stronger.

Take care.
Sparkles
Member
9 years ago
Hey @Me2 - I just want to wish you all the best over the coming weeks. As you can see everyone can totally identify with your feelings and you have so many warrior women in your corner. I have lost count of the number of times I have said 'it is what it is ' and 'one step at a time ', but both are so true. Beaming positive energy your way. :)
Afraser
Member
9 years ago
Good luck for Monday. Things move rapidly but yes, best gone, because you really don't need those cunning little cancer cells. Life will be quite a bit different for a short while, but then you may find that life post treatment can be very good indeed. Best wishes.
Zoffiel
Member
9 years ago
Life won't ever be the same again @Me2 and no amount of motivational memes and happy clappy statements will change that. It's so hard when you get rocketted into the really tough stuff so quickly with no time to prepare--its just awful to feel cornered. No one chooses this path.
It's been a month for you now, and you've come a long way. Another couple of weeks and the surgery will be over. I don't think we ever stop worrying, but the focus changes. Sometimes the really big things are easier to deal with than stupid little details, our brains are remarkable things.
Keep going, it won't be all bad news (though it may feel like if sometimes) Your turn to help will come. You are already doing that. Someone out there will be reading your posts thinking 'Its not just me. Maybe I'm not losing the plot after all.' xx
Glemmis
Member
9 years ago
Best of luck Me2, good to get the surgery done & then you know it is gone. I was told my cancer was "bad" & "nasty". Surgeons have such a way with words!
Me2
Member
9 years ago
Thank you so much soldier crab, im truly so overwhelmed. Its nice to know there is such a forum of ladies to look to for guidance. Hope im able to help someone else one day.
SoldierCrab
Member
9 years ago
@Me2 Im 4.5years since diagnosis of triple negative bc or tnbc i have had bilateral mastectomy chemo and rads... I have no evidence of disease..... I kicked the bitches arse back to hell.......we are all afraid be guided by your team, listen to your gut instincts and know we have your back

Hugs xxx