@Afraser I was adamant with mum that she had to pull herself together and if she was going to come down... they are about 2 hours away... that I couldn’t have negativity and tears. I understand her love & concern but this time I need to look after me not everyone else in my family. She promised. It didn’t last. Tonight I am tired, sore and emotional. And the emotional is because I’m dreading going home to deal with my mum. I feel like such an ungrateful b*tch but I just don’t have that sort of relationship with her. I’m not comfortable in my own skin around my parents even at 50. This just ads to that.